Jacob's World

Many things in Jacob's world annoy frustrate me...

"No" is the funniest word in the English language.

There is only one color in the world and that color is "geen".

The only way to speak is to speak as loud as possible.

High pitched shrieks are a welcome addition to any car ride.

Popcorn, hot dogs and pickles should be consumed at every meal.

All cheese is "Mac O' Cheese".

All dinners should include "Mac O' Cheese" and last approximately 25 seconds.

Sandwiches are the devil.

A pint of raspberries is a perfectly acceptable breakfast.

Everyone that calls Mommy's cell phone is "Nana" and Jacob must speak to "Nana" every time she calls or tantrums will be had.

365 days of the year are Mommy's birthday and we must sing happy birthday to her. (Okay, this one is pretty cute.)

Lawn mowers are called "elmo".

Every square inch of the backyard needs to be swept.

However, in Jacob's world there is a lot of sweetness as well.

Anything can be made better with "I'm sowwy".

Drew is the coolest person ever.

Every moment is an opportunity to break out into song.

"Viva La Vida" by Coldplay and "Dr. Worm" by They Might be Giants are the best dance songs ever.

All actions deserve a "thank you".

Everyone deserves a hug and a kiss.

Conclusion? Jacob's world is pretty fricken' awesome. I am incredibly blessed to be a part of it.

Blockage (No, not that kind)

I'm stuck. My brain can't even wrap itself around typing out a decent post, y'all, because I have spent 24 hours this week alone doing monotonous data entry and feeling pukey and tired (no I am NOT pregnant, so please don't be the 40th person to ask).

I'm trying to even think of anything interesting that has happened in the past week to comment about (Drew's fixation on defecation, while amusing, has taken up enough of my time and energy posting updates on Facebook. All of the good stuff I have to say is being absorbed into Facebook, you should be my Facebook friend. Just sayin'.)

Screen capture: the final frontier in Facebook recycling. When I am plagiarizing myself from an hour ago, you know it's bad. No brain waves here, just the lulls.

There are some exciting ideas I have coming up though- so stay tuned. There will be changes, a giveaway for my 300th post, more pictures, and I am hoping to God, more funny on its way.

Wordless Wednesday: From the "archives": Baby Drew

For more wordless Wednesday, Visit Five Minutes for Mom, Ordinary and Awesome, and SevEn cloWn CirCuS

My little boy Chandler...

I take so many pictures of Jacob, and just recently I realized that I don't take enough pictures of Drew. I felt bad until I remembered, there is a reason why I don't take very many pictures of Drew:

He doesn't want me to take pictures.

He hides,

runs away from me,

or does a weird "Chandler face". (Friends reference alert!)

So you have to be uber sneaky. You have to....

Catch him while he is telling one of his many stories,

or pretend you are not taking a picture at all,

and then you just might get a good one like this. It only took 20 shots for this one!

But how can I complain about my Drew? He's a great big brother,

Great Mommy helper,

and overall, just an amazing little boy. (He's even taking a nap for me so I can write this post!)So I guess I will let the picture taking slide, keep giving him a break from the Mommarazzi.

For now.

24 Hours- A Quick Take

I went for my annual "woman's" appointment today. As much as I hate those appointments, I still preferred it to being at work. What does that say about me or my work?

In case you were wondering, My Doctor (We'll just call her Dr. Obvious) gave me the secret to weight loss today: she told me to exercise and eat smaller portions of healthier low calorie food. If only I had known this sooner! Thanks, Dr Obvious!

Jacob's teacher told me that she promised to stop dousing Jacob in gravy so his friends would stop biting him. (My response? Oh they are just getting him back from when he was a biter!)

Mr. Calamity: He's cute enough to bite.... figuratively, not literally, that is!

Bought a Twin Mattress for Drew today; learned that a piece of twine will hold a mattress and box spring from flying out of the back of my Ford Escape.

What did Drew like best about his new bed? It made him bounce higher than his old bed!

Love is going to 10 different stores at 9pm at night to get a Twin Spiderman comforter set for your 4 year old son...

...frustration is not finding that Spiderman comforter set anywhere!

I found the perfect garbage can with a lock at Bed Bath and Beyond. I went to buy it and the clerk asked me what kind of dog I had. I told him "er, it's for my son."

You know exhaustion is affecting your mind when you go to the store for diapers and walk out with a Spiderman pillowcase, light bulbs, a garbage can... and no diapers- eek!

On a more serious note:

Something about your parents going through surgery (as my Mom did today, to repair her torn rotator cuffs(?) or being ill really reminds you of how mortal you really are, and how much you truly depend on them. I love you Mom, feel better soon!


My Mom and a young Jacob, before he turned into Mr. Calamity. Doesn't he look like the picture of innocence here?

Lolla... holla...

DAY ONE
A couple of words on day one:
Wet!
Rainy.
Miserable.
Lost.
Disco Man = Text Miscommunication.
Of Montreal = Surreal Show.
Fairy Girl = Annoying.
Depeche Mode = Awesome.

DAY TWO
Hot!
Humid.
Crowded.
Overwhelming.
Took a break; ate french dips at Irish Pub.
Refreshed, came back, watched Tool.

DAY THREE
Hot!
Sunny.
Found shade, stayed there.
Band of Horses = Amazing.
Lou Reed = annoying, played over his time.
Killers = entertaining.

DAY FOUR
Drive home.
Get speeding ticket.
Eat at a sub par Dennys.
Indiana sucks.
Get home.
Clean house.
Kiss my boys.

Oh, wait... you wanted pictures, and maybe more explanation?

DAY ONE

It was a steady rain all Friday that started to beat down on my expectations. You couldn't even take out your cell phone. Everything was muddy and you couldn't find anyone with all of the umbrellas and rain. We were very waterlogged. Somehow, I managed to keep a smiling face (the beer helped) and at about 7, the rain finally stopped and we laid my wonderful waterproof blanket out and sat down and finally relaxed. Of Montreal was the weirdest show I saw at Lolla, but it was very entertaining. Then Depeche Mode came on, and man do they put on an awesome show. My feet never really hit the ground on that one. At that point I was dancing and drinking water, some kid (maybe 17) came up to me and asked (since I was drinking water) if I had any "E". I looked at him incredulously. I don't know what about me screamed "Drug dealer" to this kid. "NO." I said, and he wandered off.

All in all, a great night.
In case you are wondering, I saw Heartless Bastards, Ben Folds, The Decemberists, Of Montreal, and Depeche Mode that night.

View from our Hotel- That is Grant Park. If the window opened, you could've heard the music! Of course, the windows don't open on the 19th floor.

Consensus says: Rain Sucks.

Thank goodness for the umbrellas everyone else brought! (Did I mention I don't own one?)

We had to use our cameras while underneath said umbrellas.

Rain sucks, but rain + beer + music + friends = happiness (and pictures like these!)

Fairy Girl. She REALLY wanted attention.

DAY TWO

I woke up at 6am and had a HORRIBLE hangover and couldn't fall back asleep. So I went to the fitness center in our hotel and worked out. (Because I am insane like that.) It was an amazing fitness center, they had ice cold lemon water cooler that I almost emptied with my thirst. Then I bugged my friends to entertain me and we went the the Lux Cafe (Sp?) that had the best breakfast sandwich ever!

Oh, yeah and Lolla....It was swelteringly hot and humid, and the crazy crowds we got stuck in were overwhelming to say the least. Sarah and I took a little break and left the park to eat at a cute Irish Pub and then came back refreshed. Unfortunately I missed TV on the Radio, which was a bummer, but we had a great time breaking away. Then we came back and saw Tool, which was good. Not Depeche Mode level of awesome, but still enjoyable.
Who did we see this day? Having trouble remembering it all, but we saw Gomez, Santigold, and prolly one other band that wasn't memorable, and Tool.

Disco Man! The source of many text miscommunication due to the fact that if you hadn't seen seen Disco Man before, you thought it was just a DJ spinning disco tunes. Right? That's what I thought.

I'm so NOT about crowds like this. It was too hot and humid to be stuck among that many bodies!

DAY THREE

It was hot and sunny but less humid on Saturday, this was when we finally figured out the lay of the park and found a shady spot to rest ourselves all day. I saw Coheed and Cambria, The Raveonettes, Vampire Weekend, Lou Reed (ugh, Lou Reed who decided to bleed over his time into Band of Horses time, like the arrogant SOB he probably is), Band of Horses (they were amazing!) and The Killers (very good as well). I totally got crap from Mr. Bee over seeing the Killers instead of Jane's Addiction, but I enjoyed myself. They put on a good live show, and I knew most of the words to all of the songs I heard listening to the Killers, the same would not be said for Jane's Addiction.

Also, I took a nap on the blanket in the park too, a MUCH needed nap.

Buckingham Fountain all pretty like.

Budweiser stage had the best view of the Chicago skyline.

Em and me at the shady spot. Thank goodness for that blanket, it gets mad ups. (Wow that sentence looks weird. You know what I mean.)

DAY FOUR

The drive home. Seriously, day four always sucks, but it was not helped by the Indiana cop who gave us a speeding ticket, and the Denny's we ate at that was so disgusting! Indiana is a crappy state to drive through. Anyway, I got home at 5pm, cleaned up the mess at my house (Mr. Bee is fighting this statement, saying it was not messy when I got home. It was. End of story.), and about a half hour later, I was greeted by Mr. Bee and the boys coming home. I was on the receiving end of many hugs and kisses. I missed the boys, my Bees. It was good to be home.

DAY FIVE- DAY TEN

Still recovering! It took me three days to write this. Hopefully I am fully recovered for this work week (one can only hope).

A (very cute) Placeholder

I want to recap my Lollapalooza trip for you guys, I really do. I am just bone tired and struggling to get through this work week. So in lieu of an awesome, amazingly funny and entertaining recap. I will let this little guy entertain you. He's not quite at the same "caliber" as some of the performances I saw this week, but he's got adorableness on his side.... (For those of you who know me on FB, sorry about the recycle!)

My 15 year old self is so excited....

I am scheduling this post, but I can safely say that I am in Chicago, and slightly drunk right now as this posts.

Here is my second recycle- this one is from Lollapalooza last year... Please do enjoy and feel free to make fun of me in the comments :)

So in 2 days I will be at Lollapalooza. I am very excited, not just for myself, but my 15 year old me. Let me explain.

In 1994, I discovered Alternative Nation. It was on MTV from 12am-2am on Saturdays, and being as I was so cool, it was "my thing" for Saturday. It was my one ritual (okay, my second ritual, my first being watching My So-Called Life on Tuesdays with Dominos pizza- I was SO Angela and wanted to be her, but it would actually be years before people commented on how much I looked like Claire Danes).

I would record videos I liked and watched them over and over again. It was my first glimpse at Beck, NIN, Sonic Youth, James, etc, etc. I LOVED Nine Inch Nails and was totally in love with Trent Reznor. I had a lot of the obscure Halo CDs. I remember wanting to go to Woodstock that year because Nine Inch Nails was playing.

I also remember my friends going to Lollapalooza that year. I wanted to go so badly, but for some reason I couldn't go. I think it had something to do with money/room in the car, but it wouldn't have mattered, my parents were very strict and wouldn't have let me go anyway. You might say, "You don't know that that is true". Yes, I do, my Mom actually said she wouldn't have let me go and she is nervous about me going THIS year. Seriously. Now, I am making up for lost time, going to Lollapalooza AND seeing Nine Inch Nails! It almost makes me want to put on a flannel and overalls.

Of course NIN is playing at the same time as Kanye West, so my 29 year old self is pissed about that.

My 15 Year Old Me. The choice in Headbands and braided hair have a reason- we were going to look funny and go to Meijers! Fun! Awesome! I have cropped everyone else out to protect them, but they don't look much better than me. The real fashion crime here? I was very skinny here and I am wearing two big shirts, my Dad's pants, and- wait for it- boxer shorts and underwear underneath. I don't know why I thought that made me grunge, I just know that it made me look about 20 pounds heavier. Rock on, 15 year old Janna Bee, Rock on.

Mr. Bee and Drew go shopping!

Thanks to The Stiletto Mom, I am participating and recycling one of my favorite old posts for The Spin Cycle over at Sprite's Keeper. Go check it out and check out her blog, I'm just getting acquainted with it, but it seems awe.some.

Right now I am packing and very busy cleaning so Mr. Bee, Calamity and Drew can destroy a clean house this weekend, so I am recycling some old posts to keep you entertained. These are from way back when my blog was on MySpace (I KNOW). It was when the only havoc Mr. Calamity was causing was in my uterus, and Drew was 2 and totally the full fledged Drama King (double I KNOW).

So for your perusal, one of my favorites....

Mr. Bee and Drew go Shopping!

So, as a favor to me, Mr. Bee decided to pick up Drew from childcare and go grocery shopping. I was pretty excited (although I do this same task ALL of the time), I sent him a list at work through email, and began to get all excited to get my cleaning done for the week uninterrupted. (I'm a crazy gal, aren't I?) So, here's a rundown:

5:20 p.m.- I sit down and rest for a minute. No rest for the weary, I get up and start vacuuming.

5:55 p.m.- Wow, that was tiring. I sit down with a snack and get ready to watch My OC reruns on the Soap channel (guilty pleasure)!

6:15 Mr. Bee calls, he's just picking up Drew. Wow, it's going to be a late one for them- too bad, so sad. I realize I should probably fold laundry while watching TV.

7:00 All done and my "story" is all done too. I work on the dishes, and make mac and cheese, as we only have those ingredients in the house.

7:20 Mac and cheese is done. I call Mr. Bee- he tells me they are a quarter of the way through the list and wants to know which kind of diapers he should buy, trying to figure out unit price for each.

"Just buy baby dry", I tell him, and then I tell him to not be so critical.

"Drew's getting fussy," he says.

"He's probably hungry, go get the cereal bars and let him eat one."

"I don't know where they are." Okay, now I am getting frustrated. How can he NOT know where anything is in the store? Then he also tells me "they don't have pledge wipes". Now I am really frustrated.

"Are you in the right section?"

"I think so, why do you sound so annoyed?"

"I'm not annoyed, you just always think they are out of something when you can't find it."

"Okay, well, I'll talk to you later, bye." He hangs up on me, and I think, am I out of line? Was that pregnancy emotions, or do I have a valid point? I am hungry- must be pregnancy brain. I go eat my Mac and cheese.

7:45- I'm so bored. I clean the coat closet. I could clean the bathroom.... but I don't want to.

8:15- I call Mr. Bee.

"Are you almost done?" I ask.

"Almost, just a couple things.... don't get mad."

"I'm not mad, what?"

"They don't have the V8 Splash in the flavor you wanted."

"Oh," I pause. "It might be V8 frusion."

"Let me see, yes, they do in the frusion."

Oops. "Sorry honey," I say sweetly. "I'll see you soon, right?"

I hear Drew yelling in the background. "Yeah, I'll be home soon."

8:35- Geez, it's late, Drew is going to be so tired, where are they? I can't believe- My thoughts are interrupting when they finally pull into the garage.

8:55- After trying (unsuccessfully) to get Drew to eat anything but pudding, I go and get him ready for bed. He smells like sunscreen and dirt, and looks pretty awful, but it's too late for a bath tonight, so into bed he goes.

9:15 I put away the groceries that Mr. Bee doesn't know where to put (a good 60% of them).

What a relaxing time to myself I had. I hope that can happen again soon!

So to recap

2 hours 15 minutes- The amount of time Mr. Bee and Drew spent in the grocery store.

1- item not found (Pledge wipes).

2- wrong items bought due to misunderstanding

1- inappropriate Juice item bought by Mr. Bee because it had "100% Vitamin C!"

5 minutes- How long it took when Mr. Bee and Drew got home before the house looked worse than before I started cleaning.

Cheers!

It's the Little Things...

So getting ready for Lollapalooza was difficult this year. I seemed to be lacking... stuff. You know, new stuff. I felt the need to have cool things to wear....

First it started with the flip-flops. I totally did NOT have a good pair of flip-flops. Enter my Purple flip Flops Mush Tevas, which are squishy and wonderful.

Then I needed purple nail polish to match them. It turned out a little darker and goth like, but I like the shade, I think.

Well, and of course I needed a new pair of capris, because my green capris don't quite match...

And what would a vacation be without a sundress (pretend the dress is in a creme and orange pattern)?

Of course it might get cold, I need a cover up. (Imagine this cardigan is creme colored.)

Did I mention I am so sick of my Summer bag I used last year? It's so.... 2008.

Don't forgot the bottled water too, and the sunscreen, we are almost out of it.

I better get a case to protect my beloved Ipod too.

Wait... what about snacks?

Oh yeah, don't forget the antibacterial wipes!

I am now wondering how much this trip is actually costing me! Well, Me and Mr. Bee. What Mr. Bee doesn't know can't hurt him, though, right?