The Unawesomeness of Bee-ing

So Drew learned a new word recently- Awesome. He uses it all the time now.

My life, however, is not so awesome right now. It's complicated, messy and infuriating. I'm just trying to stick it out, but I just feel very worn out right now. My puppy and two year old are wearing me thin, and I just can't find a lot of joy or relaxation right now, and therefore anything I write will just be me bitching.

I'm hoping that my first weekend without a family obligation in 2 months will help ground me. I'm crossing my fingers for some awesomeness to fall into my lap and to get out of this funk once and for all. Maybe for Mr. Calamity and his cohort, Louie The Unruly, will cut me a darn break.

I leave you with a little bit of awesome, which is Drew at his swimming class. I thank my lucky stars for this kid, as he is awesome, indeed.

My Dirty Little Secret

My mornings are planned out to a "T". A strict schedule must be held to get the boys and I out the door each morning before. Most of the time, all three little Bees follow my schedule. They know better than to risk my wrath. (Yes, even Louie, the puppy Bee, is well behaved every morning. It's the REST of the day that is a challenge with him.)

This morning Jacob had other plans and woke up right before my shower. I got him ready, then got Louie ready (Drew pretty much fends for himself, I just keep him on track. Gotta love age 5.)

I looked in the mirror and at the time and thought... okay, can I get by today without a shower? The hair looked okay, and I felt okay, not too sweaty.

I decided to derail my plans further.

Skip the shower! I smell ok... It's only been 2 days.

Now I am feeling a little dirty, a little bit unkempt. Not a lot, mind you. My dirt threshold is pretty high, but still...

If you see me, stay upwind of me.

Just sayin'.

Oh, come on now, y'all already knew I was disgusting!

It's how you play the game

I decided to take Drew up to get ice cream, er frozen yogurt at the corner of our neighborhood as a treat for being such a good kid this weekend. He needed to be rewarded, as we spent most of weekend dealing with the behaviors of one tyrannical two year old Calamity and the most rambunctious puppy known to man. Of course he got his low fat chocolate yogurt with brownie bits, chocolate chips, M&M's and hot fudge, so it no longer was a "healthy treat", but still he deserved it. The grin on his face was enough to tell me I made a good decision.

On the way home, I asked him what his favorite part of the weekend was.

"The race," he replied, referring to the 5k I ran on Sunday, my first 5k that I have been worried about running for a year. I finally did it, and he was there to cheer me on as I ran. This [revelation] was surprising to me, as we had gotten ice cream AND gone to a birthday party this past weekend.

"Aw, thanks buddy. Did you like watching me run? I was really happy you were there cheering me on."

"Yeah," Drew replied, then after a moment of thought, "you finished kind of in lastish place, but there were people behind you, so I guess you weren't last."

"Well honey, I ran because it was fun, and I wanted to try and do my best, and so I was happy with that, no matter where I placed in the race."

"Yeah, but you were kind of last."

I so was not, I was middle of the pack, but anyway.... " Well, not really. I had fun and did my best, and that's all that matters."

"Well, did you get a medal?"

"Yes." Everyone did.

"Can I see it?"

"Er... I didn't pick it up." We had a mach 9 meltdown with an unnapped two year old that prevented my return inside the building to pick it up. It just wasn't worth it to go back, we had to go home.

"Why?!?" This perplexed Drew more than it even perplexed Mr. B. How could I not care about a MEDAL. Those things are shiny, and big, and they hang down like a necklace, and they mean you are teh cool, right?

"Well, it wasn't as important to me. I was happy I finished and did well for me. I didn't need a medal."

In the rearview mirror I saw a perplexed five year old's expression of disbelief. I'm sure it didn't make sense to him now, but I hope one day he will get it, how it's more important to do your best than to worry about others. Maybe I finished "in lastish place", but I finished, and I ran more than half of it, sprinted at the end, and finished with a time I was proud of. I stepped out of my comfort zone, into something (running) that has always terrified me, and I completed it. For that reason I am proud of me.

The greatest pleasure in life, is doing the things people say we cannot do.
-- Walter Bagehot

People want to be my twitter follower, here is why:

Having a twitter account makes me able to say some really awesome things. Don't you wish you followed me on Twitter?

My topics include humping...

digestive bodily functions...

and then there is this:

Winner winner, chicken dinner?

If you like this kind of thing, (and who doesn't?) you can follow me here. I will follow you back, you lucky thing.

April Playlist

This is a sampling of my 25 most played on my Ipod, dorky cheesy songs included. In other words, some of my most favorite songs, no themes attached. Happy Friday! (I would like to point out that Jacob makes me play Viva la Vida and I like to Move it on repeat, so that would be why they showed up.)

1. Going On, Gnarls Barkley
2. What Goes Around... / ...Comes Around (Interlude), Justin Timberlake
3. Technologic,  Daft Punk
4. First Day Of My Life , Bright Eyes
5. Skinny Love, Bon Iver
6. 5 Years Time (Sun Sun Sun), Noah and the Whale
7. I Like to Move It,  will.i.am
8. Homecoming, Kanye West
9. Falling Slowly (American Idol Studio Version), Kris Allen
10. Viva la Vida , Coldplay
11. Piano Song, Meiko
12. Love Dog, TV On The Radio
13. O Valencia!, The Decemberists
14. Girl,  Beck
15. All These Things That I've Done,The Killers
16. Kick Push,  Lupe Fiasco

On Running

Okay, so I am an asshat. I have not meant to be away or worry anyone. I just have no time anymore. In fact, I'm wondering how I ever had time for a blog ever, with how filled my life has been. In fact, I think I said this last time, which makes me even more of an asshat. (Is such a thing possible?) I'm sorry for all of the wonderful comments I missed (seriously, I don't deserve you guys, but I am working on responding).

Here's my update: Drew is doing well, we have talked to his teachers and they are keeping a close eye on the situation. Obviously we are still concerned, but things seem better so far. Mr. B now has 3 shifts at his work which means working considerably less. It started this week, so fingers crossed. Mr. Calamity is spending most of his days on our special, new TO bench, or marching like a dinosaur... and Louie is recovering nicely from his surgery that we got him so "he doesn't go make little baby Louies", as I told the children, or as Mr. B told Drew, "the surgery that removed his balls". (He cuts to the chase more than I ever could.)

What have I been doing? Why training for a 5k. Fun times.

I have found training for a 5k to be very time consuming. Especially when you are a terrible runner like I am. If you could call what I do "running". It's more like "walking with a bounce". This is usually how the run goes....

0:00-2:00 Warm up. Oh, this will be fun. I am excited to burn some calories.

2:00-4:30 Oh, I have so much energy. This is great!

5:30-7:30 Side cramp, must fast walk.

10:00-15:00 Back on track- doing great- hey wait, am I really tired from "running" a 12 minute mile?

15:00- 17:00 SHINS ON FIRE.

18:00-20:00 Really, I'm fast walking again? Must find annoying fast song on Ipod. Okay, That'll do Britney Spears, that'll do.

20:00-25:00 Okay I might die now. Must keep going... shins and side now working together in an effort to make me stop.

25:00-29:30 A "can't breathe" slowdown, accompanied by "Must do" second wind.

29:30-32:00 Almost done- kind of? I really hate these mirrors alongside me at the gym. I am a sweaty tomato.

32:00 Ha! Person on treadmill stopped. I am stronger than them. Give gloaty look to senior citizen as she walks by.

32:00-38:00 Push to make my "best- worst" time at 5k (i.e. The time I need to get to not berate myself.)

38:00-40:00 Cool down. Thank god that's over. Wait, I have to do it again tomorrow?

I will definitely update you all when I finally do the 5k in a week and a half. Yup. I'm TOTALLY freaked. Then you can see some pictures of a red tomato "walking with a bounce".