Fall is Overrated

Ahhh Fall.... the cool crisp air, apple cider, pumpkin carving, Halloween... what is there not to love?

Plenty. Look, people, I like Fall, but people always romanticize the season. Really, one forgets sometimes how much there is to hate in the Fall. In fact, @Carmasez* and I got into a negativathon last night, bashing fall on twitter. (I totally started it, I will admit.) We came up with some great hate and it inspired me to write the post I had been kicking around in my head for a week. Here are my reasons why Fall is overrated.

THE RETURN OF THE STUDENTS

I live near Michigan State University, which is one of the largest campuses anywhere. Over 20,000 students fluctuate back into our little town and congest our stores, our roads and our restaurants in the fall. I hear you saying "oh, it's good for your economy". Economy schconomy. I don't give a crap when I need to go buy emergency diapers, diaper rash cream and wipes due to a sudden outbreak of stomach flu in the Bee house (look I didn't even mention poop, oh wait...) and have to wait behind a gaggle of tanorexic, rail thin college freshman who are wearing pajamas as they have just decided to get out of bed and go to the store at 4pm. I mean I have only been up for 9 hours longer than them, I don't want to hear how they are tired and hungover they are, and who hooked up with whom. Maybe I should bump them with my cart and yell "make sure to use birth control or you could end up with a cart full of this", and then they'll run away from me, (because I'm crazy) making me next in line.

HALLOWEEN

I know what you are thinking... but Janna, I love Halloween. Well, I don't, I'll tell you why... Candy. In fact out of the words of @Carmasez "[the] glut of Halloween candy that lasts forever and I usually end up finishing since I have no control". Don't even tell me it's not true for you, it's true for everyone, and especially for those with children, because none of us really want our kids to have that much candy. So in my mind, I cannot waste, and the majority goes into my stomach. (This same theory applied the first time I drank with my best friend in High School. I thought she had too much to drink, but I didn't want to throw away the vodka, so instead I drank more to combat her drinking. Yeah, genius move, I know. Guess who ended up hugging the porcelain goddess I now call a potty? I'll give you a hint- it wasn't my friend. But I am totally, ridiculously digressing and talking about puke AGAIN.)

Also- seriously women, we set women's lib back decades each Halloween with our choices in slutty costumes. I am not one to talk, I've done it too, but the older I get, the more annoyed I get when I see it. It is never warm on Halloween, and yet, there you are, tanorexic, wraith-like, well-rested, long-haired freshman girl, parading around in lingerie and pretending it's a COSTUME. Then, if I get a costume, I feel the need to look pretty, not slutty, not gruesome, but inventive. I ALWAYS fail. always. Then I end up wearing cat ears and whiskers and a skirt, and pretending it's a costume, and feeling much more confident that I am better than you scantily clad women, because at least I am wearing clothes, if not so much a costume.

THE WEATHER

I know many people like "brisk fall air" but have you ever felt what "brisk fall air" feels like at 6am? It feels like fricking Winter air for God's sake. Then I have to get my kids ready and prepared in clothes that can withstand a 20-30 degree temperature shift. Plus @Carmasez lists "scaly skin" as a reason to hate Fall. I am with her. It's NOT pretty.

THE PLETHORA OF FALL FOLIAGE

Yeah, it's pretty... and then it falls. Then Mr. Bee and I spend a WHOLE weekend cleaning up. All weekend, no exaggeration.

You know you want a piece of this sweet Fall action.

FREAKIN' FOOTBALL
For many, the word is enough said. Still, there are parts I like, but that's not what I am talking about today, is it?

First of all tailgating. I hate it. You are telling me I should wake up at 7am, get all bundled up, spend 20 minutes packing up the car, drive 2 miles, unpack the car, set up folding chairs and all the food and drink I prepared the night before so that I can sit/stand around and drink in the frigid cold? Why don't I just crack open a beer on my deck? Oh, that's right, because then I would be known as an ALCOHOLIC who drinks in the morning. Don't forget you must drink a lot to stay warm, and then you have to pee all of the time, and wait in line to use a port 'o potty, and unbundle your ten pairs of pants in the portable john. Did I mention you are then drunk at 10am? Talk about ruining a Saturday!

I can tell you what I am thinking in this pic. I am thinking, "why am I up so early on a Saturday?"

Don't forget about what @Carmasez calls "Football Widowhood". There is never get a break from football in the fall because it's on all of the time, and then Mr. Bee has to go to the game and tailgate and I'm stuck with the kids or I bring them to the tailgate and am miserable the whole time, chasing them around. Then Mr. Bee gets dropped off at home and he's hungover and miserable and he's ruined his Saturday. I can't forget all the time needed for Mr. Bee to work on his Fantasy Football team. Ugh, Fantasy Football. It's fun for the first two weeks, and then I have to feign interest in my team because I am so over it by then, but it makes Mr. Bee happy to compete, so I do it anyway, and then all the guys are pissed when I win the league again (because there is an inverse correlation between how much you care about your team and how well you do in your Fantasy League).

FOOD FEST

Yeah, I know, it tastes good. With Halloween, Thanksgiving and Cider Mill visits, when in the heck am I supposed to diet?

THE ADDITION OF CLOTHES

With Fall comes the end of flip-flops and the beginning of socks, boots, coats mittens, hats... all which have to be put on my children too. Try putting a 4 year old's hands in gloves, it is a lesson in patience and perseverance. Plus, it also means @Carmasez says, having to break out the granny sweaters. (Apparently she has seen my closet.)

Let's look at the really big picture here, why the coming of Fall disturbs me so much: Fall means Summer is over, and for us Michiganians it means we are just a few short weeks until Winterville USA. I might dislike Fall sometimes, but I LOATHE Winter.

*I was told to put her quotes in boldface and large font. I follow the rules you see! Are you following her yet? Go follow @Carmasez and tell her Janna sent ya. (She didn't ask me to say that, either.)

Now it's your your turn. What do you dislike about Fall?

Breathing, whining, Editorializing

Bee Family Updates:

Lets start with Mr. Calamity (Jacob). Poor boy has been a coughing mess the past couple of days. This fact has not stopped him from beating up on his little toddler friends at school, however. Every day he gets an incident report and more often than not, it is for being rough with the other toddlers. Yesterday we got an incident report that said (and I quote) "Jacob ran over to one of his friends and jumped on them and scratched his/her eye for no reason". Um, tell me how you really feel? We will be discussing this incident report with the director today. They don't need to editorialize in their report. I get it, he's a brute. He is also one of the youngest, littlest guys in there, and does not understand the word "gentle". I'm trying here people, but there is no reasoning with a 15 month old.

On super cute Calamity news, he has started to say Drew's name. Of course it comes out sounding like "Dew" most of the time, but it is adorable. I was more excited for this than when he started saying "Mama". Of course, maybe that's because he says it like "MAAAAAAMMMMAAAAA" in a wail when he needs me.

Drew is still, Drew. We are trying to break him of talking about himself in the third person. It's been a rough road. Eventually we are hoping he goes back to saying "I" but only time will tell. He had a great time at his birthday party, running around like a maniac. He enjoyed his gifts, including his new easel with a dry erase and chalk board. Unfortunately one night he enjoyed his dry erase marker all over his room. He tried to be good and draw on an old piece of cardboard. "Tried" being the operative word. It ended up on walls, his white shirt and his train table. A big "d'oh!" goes to Mr. Bee and me for forgetting and leaving it out.

And Mr. Bee? Sick Mr. Bee is trying to readjust to his early morning schedule and having trouble with his head cold. He keeps "resting his eyes" on the couch, and I have to drag him to bed.

As for, me, Janana, my hectic week is coming to a close, and I am starting to feel a little better, thanks in part to the winter thaw we are going to experience tomorrow. I'm sure it will throw everyone's immune systems out of whack, but what the heck, was anyone really healthy to begin with? I have extreme DVR backup (which will just increase due to the 2 hour Grey's Anatomy event tonight) which I will be fixing swiftly on my day off. Also, I will be heading down to the library to get a book so that I can finally contribute to the other blog I am supposed to be contributing to, Girls with Books. And I will also be drinking the wineage tonight. Expect some high quality tweets, twitterers. Janna likes to hear the sound her own tweets (and talk about herself in the third person as well). Also, yes I will be dropping the little Bees off at school tomorrow. I am not ashamed.

So woot for the Bee family... hopefully it will feel like spring this weekend, and we can pretend there isn't at least another 2 months to go of snow. Thanks for letting me whine a little, hopefully I am back to my regularly scheduled program.

Winter blues (REALLY bad poetry)

i have not the words to say

have had some horrible no-good days

and the snow will never go away

work slowly making me crazy

i've decided:

i'm ready to be lazy

body stiff, feels like lead

plan of action: dead ahead

go in the room with the bed

creak through the room

flop onto the bed

pull covers up over my head

grab the children, husband too

snuggle up, two by two

close our eyes

sleep all day

us bees dreaming our cares away

hibernate all through today

into tomorrow, even thursday

hopefully we wake in may

Rough week... be back with more soon. Inspired by Jenners

Snow, Work and Drew's Spiderman Party Extravanganza Preparations....

January, Jacob's Hand and Foot Calendar

Mr. Bee has returned to work this week. He got to return one week earlier than expected, therefore never having to go on unemployment (yessss!) because he used all of his vacation time. For the year. In the first two weeks of the year. To keep the bread on the table. How can I NOT love this man? On that note, while I am happy that he has his job and can go back, I'm totally going to miss my Mr. Mom. He actually worked really hard to do a good job and definitely pulled his fair share of the house duties. I'm proud of my man. I think his being off work brought us closer. I got a much deserved break, he understood where I was coming from on the stress level, and he also got a less pissy wife (and was less pissy himself and also got a much needed break. Lest I not forgot, Mr. Bee works his ass off at work, much harder than I do). I guess I am supposed to be excited he's going back.... but I'm not. I miss him being home already. Come back Mr. Bee!

On the Drew front.... Spiderman Festivities 2009 4th Birthday Party Extravaganza preparations have begun. I reallllllllllllllllly realllllllllllllllllllllly hate birthday parties and I tried to come up with any way to get out of throwing a party. I had a great idea: buy Bob the Builder Live tickets (it's coming here the day after his birthday, perfect timing right?) and a dinner and have a quiet night out? What a nice, relaxing, stress free birthday. I should have KNOWN that relaxing and stress free is NOT something Drew would want. Out of nowhere Drew starts talking about his Spiderman birthday party. ("Lets decorate the house in Spiderman decorations and can we please have a Spiderman cake, and I asked "D" and "T" to come to Drew's Spiderman Party [yep, still talking about himself in the third person] and can we have one please, please, please?") On a side note, no, he doesn't watch Spiderman, I have no idea what his obsession is, I just know that Mr. Bee is happy that he finally likes something "manly".

Of course I caved. Sadly. I actually CRIED, I so badly didn't want to throw a party. I mean, come on, it's dead of winter and I have a small house. It's not fun for ANYONE. Anyway, my sister came up with a great idea... rent the huge play area they have at their childcare It's called the "Village" and it has little houses and a ball pit and little tables and chairs. Do it at breakfast time and then get fruit and bagels and a cake and voila, party, entertainment and food all in one! Genius. So happy, it will only be two hours and then all done!

(Another side note: my Mom made the comment "well, I guess we can't bring alcohol then". I told her, "I never have provided alcohol at my CHILDREN'S birthday parties, you and my in-laws just bring it." Oh Mom, you know I love you [and I know you read this too]! You are too funny. And yes, I have thought about getting drunk indulging in some spirits to tolerate enjoy Drew's Spiderman Party but for some reason, I think it might be frowned upon? Just a guess?)

In Jacob news... nothing new... just the same crazy guy. He's discovered that he enjoys when I sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" to him. After I finish, he signs for "more". I sang it five times tonight. Who needs American Idol Fame when you have the cutest judge ever requesting encore after encore?

So to Wrap up....

Mr. Bee: Back at Work.

Janana: Tired, stressed, overworked. The usual.

Drew: Going to Bob the Builder (Nana sprang for the tickets so we could do both- thanks Nana) and getting the best Spiderman Party evar! (Alcohol not included.)

Jacob: Enjoying his Mommy's renditions, and making Mommy feel like a star. Oh and still a wild and crazay guy. (Okay, I know this is totally dated, but I can't help but think of Steve Martin when I say that.)

The Bee Family: Making it through January, one day at a time. 9 more to go! Only 2 months till spring! Although this was the first day of spring last year in our area.

Sometimes winter can be beautiful....

This is us, Saturday

So today is a cold, wintry Saturday. I don't think the snow will stop all day. Outside it is a thick, wintry blanket. Normally on a Saturday I would like this, but today I am home alone with the boys. Shaun is at work, which means he will drive through this stuff later on. Am I the only one out there who hates when loved ones are traveling? I worry.

Drew is watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, a movie which he told me is too short. He wanted me to make it longer (you can only do so much for your children). I told him it is a very old movie, and back then the movies were shorter [and so were people, but I didn't tell him that]. Nowadays, they make children's movies way too long. (Pixar, I am talking to you. I don't care how good the movie is, if it's longer than 80 minutes, my son ain't sittin' through it. So be a dear and shave some time off, would you?)

Jacob is doing his rounds.... wandering around the loop from kitchen to living room, saying "baby". Everything is "baby". It is only a matter of time before he discovers our Christmas tree and tries to play with it. Oh yeah, last night we also taught him to show us his belly.

Later while the kids are napping I will spend too much time on the Internet and (hopefully) get some wrapping done. We are going to make lasagna to freeze and also ham and cheese calzones for dinner. (I know this is incredibly ambitious for me. So we will see how it goes.)

So this is us today. Ignore my voice on here- do I really sound like that in real life?

I Love Michigan

Taken today, the first day of Spring.



I am so ready to move out of state!

An Ode to Snow

This is building on something my co-worker said, so thanks to Kristy.

Winter Wonderland?

If snow had a face, I would slap it.
If ice had an ass, I would kick it.
If wind had a foot I would step on it.
If February was a person I would insult him.
If January was a spider I would crush him.