When I dropped Drew off at school today three older kids were standing at the doorway into his classroom. They looked to be much older than Drew, and to Drew they must have looked humongous. They had to 5 or 6 years old, I know that they couldn't have been any older than that, but they looked so mature. They were talking loudly and excitedly. Drew clung close to my leg and looked down. I pushed him forward through the doorway. “Drew, why don't you go sit at the table over there?” I pointed to a table farther away from the older boys. Drew walked over to the table and sat down quietly. I could sense his apprehension.
They are just little boys, I wanted to tell Drew. Little boys that you won't even know in a couple of years. What they say doesn't matter and there is no need to be nervous. Don't be afraid, just be your wonderful, loving self. That's all that matters. It will all be okay, just be happy and don't worry. Instead of saying this, I gave him a kiss on the head, and told him “I love you and I will see you later. Have a good day.”
As a parent, when do you step in? When do you say those things that need to be said?
I guess the real question is why I can't follow my own advice? I'm still trying to heed my own unspoken advice to my son. I still let the little things take over my thoughts and render me useless. Why do I let people at work get to me? Why do I worry so much about what people think of me? Why am I still pretending I am skinny on Facebook? Why do I let the loss of a follower (and one of my favorite bloggers) bother me? I know it's ridiculous and yet sometimes these thoughts haunt me.
I'm guess I am still learning. I just hope I can find the way, and lead in my words and my actions for my children.
What they say doesn't mean anything. Don't be afraid, just be your wonderful, loving self. That's all that matters. It will all be okay, just be happy and don't worry.
Sorry this is a little too deep for a Monday. I hope you are having a good day today, with very few worries.
People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.- Ramona L. Anderson