May 13, 2009

My Last Day

Today is my last day in my 20's. Tomorrow I will be (gasp) 3 decades old. I used to think that 30 was "damn old". I always assumed when I reached the mature age of 30 I would know where my life was going, what path I was taking.

So, if I am assuming this, I guess tomorrow is the day I grow up, right? Because right now I am "winging it" every single day. I am playing at the role of adult, and I cannot believe no one has called me out so far. When I am sick, I still keep thinking that my Mom will come over and take care of me. Yet I keep taking care of the kids, and in the back of my mind, I tell myself, this is only temporary, she'll be here soon and she will make french toast. I pay my bills each time, thinking that I can't believe I am allowed to touch this money, even though I (and Mr. Bee) made this money. I made a decision about getting my son circumcised for gods sakes. WHO put me in charge of that? I shouldn't be in charge of anything serious. I can't even believe that I am paid a salary over $5,000. ($5,000 was my big "you have all the money in the world amount when I was 8 years old.)

I always wonder when I will feel mature, when it will sink in that I am not playing adult and I AM an adult. I think I will always expect to have more knowledge and be more mature all of my life, and that is a good thing. It will challenge me to try harder. The only thing I can do is keep learning, keep working (a popular phrase for this is "fake it till you make it"- well I will always be "faking it") and every once in a while sit back and enjoy the journey. And try not to think of 30 as "damn old".

In addition, I hope to never be too old mature to enjoy stupid comedies, outdoor concerts, roller coasters, and beer.

** As I wrote this, I realized that Tooj wrote a similar piece about Motherhood. I wanted to highlight it because it is similar and kind of my answer to that.


  1. Happy early Birthday and welcome to's nice, I like it here, I've been doing it now for 6 Actually I kind of really do like being 30, something about that number wakes you up. Learning will always be a process in life, it's the only way to grow, which you already know that :). And the "fake it til you make it" phrase is one of my favorites :)

    Hugs and kisses


    **so my word verification was**

  2. ugh if you are thinking 30 is old...Im in trouble considering Im 40!!!!!!!!! Happy early Birthday enjoy your last day of your 20's!!!!

  3. I'm sure I won't be the first to say this, but if you are 30- you are still a youngin'! be 30 again!!!

    Hate to break it to ya, but those of us over *gasp* 40 are still wingin' it and don't necessarily feel any more mature :D

    Enjoy your special day!

  4. I am also in my late twenties and know exactly what you mean about not feeling like an adult yet. Doesn't matter that I've been married for six years. Doesn't matter that I earn my own paycheck, and may soon be a mother myself. I still don't feel "grown up." It seems some of us never do. Maybe that's not such a bad thing? :-D

    Happy Birthday, Janna! I hope it's fabulous.

  5. You turn 30 almost exactly a month before my sister! I had the same feelings of panic when I hit the big 3-0, and I was feeling a mixture of excitement and depression. I didn't like my 30s at first, but I'm really enjoying them now! I wish I could tell you why...but that's for a blog post, not a comment. :)

  6. Happy Early Birthday. I just turned 30 back in January and I was so excited I couldn't see straight! I thought to myself, 'wow, I'll be all grown up. I won't be no young 20 something anymore.' Yeah, well now I'm just a 30 something kid at heart that still wrestles with her husband and laughs when one of the kids poot! :)
    I'll grow up when I feel like it.

  7. Wishing you a very Happy Early Birthday! I LOVED my thirties! LOVED them! I am LOVING my forties even more! It just gets better, sister!

  8. Have a Happy Birthday!!!
    You will always be young at heart, I can tell by the way you write:)

    AND 30, well, you know to an over 40 year old, 30 is nice and young. ENJOY!!!!

  9. Happy Birthday!!! Listen, age is just a number, if you were calculating your age with the chinese calendar you would probably be like 350 yrs old :)

  10. Happy Birthday Janna!! I hope you're having a wonderful day!

  11. And to think I wrote my thoughts on "faking it" when I was 31! Not to discourage you or anything....LOL I have heard that our 30s are actually supposed to be better...fingers crossed, lady.

  12. Well Happy Late Birthday!! The 30s are great .. you can let go of all the agita of "will I be able to survive on my own" 20s stuff. And I'm 41 and I still feel like I'm faking it as an adult ... I realize now that my parents probably were too -- they just seemed like they had it together! This is probably one of the things no one tells you about until you realize it yourself.

    And I love the new blog look!!! Cute!



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