So, if I am assuming this, I guess tomorrow is the day I grow up, right? Because right now I am "winging it" every single day. I am playing at the role of adult, and I cannot believe no one has called me out so far. When I am sick, I still keep thinking that my Mom will come over and take care of me. Yet I keep taking care of the kids, and in the back of my mind, I tell myself, this is only temporary, she'll be here soon and she will make french toast. I pay my bills each time, thinking that I can't believe I am allowed to touch this money, even though I (and Mr. Bee) made this money. I made a decision about getting my son circumcised for gods sakes. WHO put me in charge of that? I shouldn't be in charge of anything serious. I can't even believe that I am paid a salary over $5,000. ($5,000 was my big "you have all the money in the world amount when I was 8 years old.)
I always wonder when I will feel mature, when it will sink in that I am not playing adult and I AM an adult. I think I will always expect to have more knowledge and be more mature all of my life, and that is a good thing. It will challenge me to try harder. The only thing I can do is keep learning, keep working (a popular phrase for this is "fake it till you make it"- well I will always be "faking it") and every once in a while sit back and enjoy the journey. And try not to think of 30 as "damn old".
In addition, I hope to never be too
** As I wrote this, I realized that Tooj wrote a similar piece about Motherhood. I wanted to highlight it because it is similar and kind of my answer to that.