November 21, 2010

My Dinner Tonight: A Screenplay

Guess Who's Not Eating Dinner
Spaghetti and Meatballs (explore)photo © 2004 Josh | more info (via: Wylio)

Cast of Characters:

Janna: a 30-something harried Mom of two boys, Jacob and Drew
Mr. B: a 30-something Dad of two boys, Jacob and Drew.
Jacob: 3 year old boy. Loves to push buttons. Has an adorable pouty face. Is shirtless to avoid spaghetti stains.
Drew: 5 year old boy, going on 13. Loves to be dramatic. Has been known to be called "The drama king" at times. Is shirtless to avoid spaghetti stains.

Janna finishes putting the last bowl on the table. Dinner! Go potty and wash your hands.

Drew, giggling, runs past Janna. Jacob follows Drew.

Janna: After 5 minutes of running. Come on boys. Go potty and wash your hands now.

Drew: I need to poop! Can I go poop?

Janna: Sighs. Yes.

Mr. B, Jacob and Janna sit down after washing their hands.

Jacob: Spaghetti! Yum! Yum! Makes panting noises.

Janna: Okay, go ahead and eat, Jacob.

Drew sits down at the dinner table. What's in this?

Janna: Food.

Drew: What kind of food?

Janna: Good food.

Mr. B: What does he want to know?

Janna: He wants to know what's in the spaghetti.

Mr. B: It's pasta and spaghetti sauce. Just eat.

Jacob looks at Janna, mumbles something that sounds like Just give me the cheese, bitch.

Janna: Did he just say what I think he said?

Mr. B: No, we must have misheard him.

Janna: Jacob, how do you say that nicely?

Jacob: Please can I have the cheese?

Janna: Here you go. Passes the Parmesan cheese. Drew, why haven't you eaten any spaghetti?

Drew: Because I am soooo cold! Brrrr.....

Janna: Drew, it's 72 degrees in here, it's not cold. Eat your food.

Drew shakes uncontrollably. Drew: I can't. It's just sooo cold. Chatters his teeth.

Mr. B: To Janna Just ignore him.

Janna:  To Mr. B I can't help but want to L-A-U-G-H, he's being so ridiculous.

Drew: I can't t-t-take it, I am sooo cold.

Jacob starts singing at the top of his lungs Jacob: DO DO DEE DO DO DO.

Janna: Jacob, sing in an indoor voice.

Mr. B: Drew, eat two bites and then put on a shirt.

Drew: Nods his head, says in an annoyed voice O-kay!

Jacob: Pouts. Mommy, you make me sad when you tell me to stop singing.

Janna: I'm sorry Jacob, but we are eating dinner, and we need to use indoor voices when we eat dinner.

Drew: I ate my two bites.

Janna: Really?

Drew: Reall-y!

Janna: Okay, go put on a shirt. Jacob eat some food. Drew leaves the table to put on a shirt.

Jacob: I'm not hungry. I want to play with my trains. I like my trains. Bitch Bitch Bitch.

Janna: Pauses.

Mr. B: Jacob that's a bad word. We don't use that word.

Janna: Jacob, what do you think that word means?

Jacob: It means I'm sad because you said to not use that word and I just want to play with trains. Looks nervous. I said airplane. That's what I said, airplane. Pouts.

Mr. B: He doesn't know what that means.

Janna: It does mean that he called me a ____ earlier.

Mr. B: Yeah, but he doesn't know what it means.

Janna: What I don't get is we never use that word. I mean other swear words I could see.

Mr. B: I know, it is weird.

Drew sits down at the table and begins to elaborately tuck in a napkin into his shirt, for 5 minutes.

Mr. B: I think you got it Drew. Just eat now.

Drew: O- KAY!

Janna: I'm done. Stands up. I have to go and blog about this now.

End scene.


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