Cookied out!

So today has been a quiet day on the blog front. Quiet days make me nervous. It makes me think you are all ready for my cookie stories... no? Well too bad, I like my asshat stories, so here we go....

I've been way ahead of schedule on all of Christmas tasks this year. The house was decorated the weekend after Thanksgiving, I've been shopping since Fall, and you all saw how awesome my Christmas cards turned out. So this year I decided to bake Christmas cookies. No biggie right? I am not a baker though. Hell, I'm barely able to stand cooking. I am not fond of cooking and my kitchen is not one that calls spend lots of time in me, I ahm so pretty. It is a fugly kitchen to the nth degree. I have counters that are never clean, no matter how many times I wash them, the cupboard hinges are all breaking, and the floor is white tile therefore perpetually dirty.

Still, I decided to trudge through. Here is the list of cookies I wanted to make:

Magic Cookie Bars
Skill level: Easy

These were pretty easy, however I added too much chocolate. Drew wanted to know if these cookies were actually magic. Nope, but the kids seemed to think they gave them super powers. Drew transformed into a duck and began quacking through the house. Jacob gained the power of SUPERSPEED and ran laps around the house. I'm sure this was due to the "magic" and not the extra chocolate that was added.

Tri Cornered Cream Cheese jelly things (Maybe not technical name, but I'm lazy so live with it!)
Skill level: Oh my Freakin' god I never want to make these again.

These took me three and half hours to make. Towards the end I just ate a big gob of dough so I wouldn't have to shape another cookie. Of course Mr. B loves them and wants more to make more *SOB*.

Fudgy Bon Bons
Skill Level: Meh- not too bad! Messy though.

I made these for the name only. Drew was able to help peel the Hershey's kisses that go in the middle of these (Jacob helped by handing the kisses to Drew, it was a regular assembly line), and the kids love them.



Sugar Cookies
Skill Level: Ridiculous amounts of work, for realsies.

It's a good thing Christmas only comes once a year because mah God do these things take a long time to make. I hate any recipe that calls for a rolling pin. It is not my forte. Somehow we manged to get about 30 usable cookies and we frosted them. Any ill feelings that I had toward the cookie making process were forgotten when Drew began frosting. Not only did he have a great time (he called himself "the Frosting King") but he had a little secret for me midway through the cookies.


"Mommy, I love you." He whispered.

I think the sugar cookies were a good note to end on. The biggest pain in the ass with the biggest payoff. . I don't do this for me, I do it for them. If I carried them in my belly for 9 months I guess 15 hours of baking is small potatoes And they loved it. The baking cookies, not the belly thing, although the probably loved that, too.

So those of you that made it through a post about sugar cookies, congratulations! Now please don't hit the unsubscribe button.

House of Vomitous part 2

Remember this? Well, Jacob was sick AGAIN for Christmas Day, vomiting once Christmas Eve night, and then once on Christmas day. (Some seriously disgusting and scary vomitage.) So again, I did not spend Christmas with my husband, and this time I stayed with Drew while Shaun stayed home with Jacob, who proceeded to act like he felt fine the rest of the day. He seems fine today. I am SO not looking forward to Easter, however, family holidays apparently make him sick.

Holy Christmas Mess Batman!

And it's not just one room. Yep, that's the trash can on the counter. We're keeping it classy in the Bee House.
Also, husband got me an Ipod touch. Considering having a wild passionate love affair with it.
Tied for my favorite gift is this. Each page has a different picture made out of a stamp of Jacob's hand and/or foot.... one of my favorite pictures is below.
I'm getting a toothache from the cuteness! Thank thank thank you Childcare!
Also, thank you for all of the Holiday wishes from all my bloggy pals and all of the wonderful presents we recieved from all family members!

Merry Christmas!

A couple of weeks ago I had everyone pick their favorite Christmas picture for our Christmas cards. The winner was option D, and the deciding vote was my Moms! Thanks for voting. I will be busy getting toys put together the rest of the night, but I will be back tomorrow!

Happy Holidays- Pick your favorite!

So I know this sounds like the LAMEST problem ever, but I took holiday pictures of the little guys and I can't decide which is my favorite, I like them all. (How often is that the case with holiday pictures?) Maybe you can help? Leave your favorite in the comments and the winner will be our Holiday Card. Thanks!

Option A

Option B

Option C

Option D

And for fun, the outtakes! (Little-man looks so cute, too bad D-man is making silly faces!)

Oh, and on a nostalgic note, take a look at my old Holiday photo card pics (I do the same thing every year.) The boy(s) are getting so big!

Christmas 2007
Christmas 2006

My Interview with Boodle, My Elf on the Shelf

So I thought you might be sick of hearing about the four of us, I thought you might want to hear about our temporary fifth member of the household, Boodle, our Elf on the Shelf. To learn more about Boodle, click here. Warning: there are major puns and bad jokes located within this text. Proceed with caution.

Me: Okay Boodle, thanks for chatting with us. I know you aren't supposed to speak to the families you stay with. Are you going to get into trouble?

Boodle: No, it's just the kids I'm not supposed to talk to. You adults just ignore me, so I ignore you.

Me: Sorry.

Boodle: Whatever. Not a big deal. *sniffs*

Me: So tell me something a little bit about yourself.

Boodle: My real name is Gavin and my job is very demanding during the Christmas Season. During the off season, however, I write novels, under a pseudonym of course.

Me: Really? Anything I have read?

Boodle: Have you heard of Harry Potter?

Me: Yeah!

Boodle: Well, I didn't write THAT but I wish I had. Man I would be RICH! I also went to Lollapalooza. Yeah, you are lucky I didn't tell Santa about what I saw you doing at Lollapalooza. Drink beer much?

Me: Yeah, I think we should, um...move on. So how long have you been a Christmas Elf?

Boodle: Well, you are my third family, so about 20 years.

Me: Oh, wow- how old are you?

Boodle: 65.

Me: You look so young!

Boodle: Yeah I get that a lot. Felt and plastic doesn't really age. Plus candy cane diets are very good for you, believe it or not, and I get a lot of exercise running from Homes to the North Pole.

Me: I bet that's difficult.

Boodle: Well thanks for covering for me the other day when I forgot to go by saying that you forgot to move me. I totally fell asleep.

Me: Um... no problem? So, since you "observe" our family all day, is there anything you can share with the readers about our family?

Boodle: Of course at an interview about me, you ask about yourself. You bloggers are a vain bunch.

Me: I'm not vain! A little self absorbed, maybe.

Boodle: Riiiight. Okay, so something about your family? You guys wear pajamas a LOT. And Mom, you swear under your breath often.

Me: Thanks for that.

Boodle: Well, Santa knows already, he's known for years... you were swearing back when you were 8, you know. Picked it up from your Dad, he's a champion swearer.

Me: Hey, don't say bad things about my Dad!

Boodle: I like your Dad! What's wrong with swearing? Elves swear all of the time, part of the reason that we don't talk to the children. I'm really cleaning it up for the interview, you know.

Me: Well thank you, the readers appreciate that.

Boodle: You mean all 11 of them?

Me: Hey, aren't you supposed to be a nice Elf?

Boodle: Who told you that?

Me: I just assumed.

Boodle: Well, assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

Me: You said you wouldn't swear.

Boodle: Sorry!

Me: What is Santa like?

Boodle: He is everything you've ever imagined. Jolly, generous, has trouble staying away from sweets. Kind of reminds me of Oprah. I don't see him every time I go to the North Pole. I see his Personelf Assistant. Santa is a busy guy. I will see him when he comes down your chimney on Christmas Eve. Speaking of that, you might want to move the toys that are in front of you chimney. Do your kids really even need toys?

Me: Okay, I think we need to wrap this up, it is going downhill quickly. One last question- who would you rather be stranded on a deserted Island with, Tinker Bell or the tooth fairy?

Boodle: What kind of BS question is that? Tinker Bell was made up by an JM Barrie. The tooth fairy, however is very REAL. On that note.... Tinker Bell.

Me: Really?

Boodle: Yeah, the Tooth Fairy is a little long in the tooth. *Snickers*

Me: Oh hardy har har.

Nablopomo burnout and Elf Martyrs....

I am getting a little bit of Nablopomo burnout. I know it's early in the month, and how sad is that? But for the past 3 days I have been sitting alone in my office for ten hours, hurrying home and putting the kids to sleep, and then going to sleep myself (or cleaning) neither of which make for exciting material.

So a little anecdote. For Christmas last year we got the Elf on the Shelf. For those that don't know about this, well, click on the link to get an explanation. We started the tradition by pulling out the book the day after Christmas, and put the Elf (we named him "Boodle") out and hinted to Drew on how to find him. Every night you have to move him. So every morning, I ask Drew "Where did Boodle go?" and we have to find him. Drew never remembers.

Until yesterday, when Drew remembered for the first time on his own and asked "Hey, why didn't Boodle move last night?" Yeah, we forgot. The first time he remembered.

"Boodle!" I exclaimed. "Did you fall alseep last night and forget to see Santa? Geez Boodle, you have to remember to see Santa every day and tell him Drew is a good boy!"

"Yeah!" Drew exclaimed.

For a recap, yes, I blamed a stuffed Elf named "Boodle" for my mistake. We are reaching a new low here people... and it is not pretty.