Jumbledness and Old School Jams

So, it's been a crazy February.... sickness, death, life changing decisions being discussed, and now a possible layoff. It's a lot for my poor brain to process. I feel like it is all jumbled and I don't know what my next year looks like now.

Luckily, Mellow Man Ace's "Mentirosa" was on Sirius. That was my jam back in the day. I stole the cassette single from my sister and never gave it back (Sorry Amber)! Take a listen.



There's nothing like an old school jam to take your mind off of your problems for 5 minutes. Of course, then they are back like gangbusters. I have no idea what that last sentence means, but I like it. Happy Friday everyone! Please enjoy your weekend! All I can think is February is almost over, and it has to get better next month, right?

I think this signals the end of "The Courtship" Phase of our relationship....

When I first starting dating Mr. Bee, he brought me flowers for every occasion and sometimes just because. Of course, I dated broke-ass students before Mr. Bee, and he was older, and more mature (but not mature enough to frown upon my rite-of-passage-big-ten-college-binge-drinking, thank goodness) and I totally swooned over a boy who was able to buy me ANYTHING, much less flowers all of the time. My sister's first words to me when I gushed over these flowers was: "enjoy it now, because it will never last". I thought she was totally wrong. Mr. Bee would always bring me flowers.

We moved in together after a little under a year of dating, and being 21, I was still in the binge-drinking through the week heyday of getting cab rides home and puking up vodka and cranberry juice concoctions, which is not a pretty picture. During the time Mr. Bee was commuting for me, so I could go to school and he could work at his new job. Still, he was ever so patient, and while there weren't flowers all of the time, there were the thoughtful gestures. (Holding my hair back until 2am when he had to be at work at 6am? He had the patience of a saint!) I can't even begin to tell you how often he would pick my loaded friends and me, and laugh along with us, even though he must have been annoyed.

Then we got married. We were husband and wife, and Mr. Bee, being an understanding husband, accepted the fact that I could not find a steady full time job because I sucked at interviews. He went and saw chick flicks willingly with me, and we lovingly talked about when we would start a family. In turn, I eventually found a steady, albeit low paying, job.

After about three months of trying, I found out I was pregnant. We were both nervous (heck, I was a wreck, and I stress-ate to compensate), but Mr. Bee put on a brave face, and lied and told me I looked pretty as I went on to gain 55 lbs. After Drew was born, I was grumpy, puffy and tired, but he told me how beautiful I looked and I actually believed him. I'm not sure who was more delusional at that point.

Our second child was a surprise as it happened so quickly. Still, we were very excited, and Mr. Bee was patient, if not as helpful with the other pregnancy. After all, we had another child to take care of and he couldn't hold my hand through the whole pregnancy as he had before. I had found a new, higher paying job, and money wasn't tight. We did a lot of shopping and went to restaurants often, which was a relief, as I discovered I really hated cooking in our outdated kitchen.

After Jacob was born, Mr. Bee started a stressful change in jobs, and the stress was dully noted by me. There was little in the way of magic or babymooning the second time around. (Babymoon: The period after your child is born that you are both so in love and happy that little stresses matter less. This lasted about 1 month with Drew and about 2 days with Jacob.) Restaurant and shopping trips stopped as we had neither the money or the patience to deal with two children out at a mall. Oh, I also outlawed red roses at our house. How cliche! (Not that I was getting a lot of flowers.) So now I get plants, on the appropriate day. No suprizes.

Did I notice any of these changes at the time? No, it was subtle, and I think, a part of our relationship maturing. I am no longer being courted or coddled, those days are (sadly- I did enjoy them) over. I came to this conclusion after another argument about what movies to watch, and I remarked that his taste in movies had gone downhill. "No," he replied, "[my taste in movies] hasn't changed at all." In other words, yes, it took me 10 years to realize that husband never really liked girly movies at all, he just watched them to appease me. Don't poke fun at me, as I am not the only person living in a bubble; when he insisted that I liked the movie Wolverine and I insisted that I thought that it was really stupid, I realized that he still hasn't realized I don't like action movies.

There are still many sweet moments in our life... Mr. Bee still will get up and get me ice water after I decide I want one when he gets one for himself, even though I have two perfectly good legs. I am planning on watching GI Joe on Blu-ray when it comes out for him, and he in turn will watch The Proposal for me. (Well, he will watch that because Mr. Bee has a thing for Sandra Bullock, much like his love for Hugh Grant.) I will still work furiously to get stains out of his clothes, and he will still make the bed for me (he makes it so much nicer than I do). I will still make him Chili, even though I hate cooking and tolerate Chili, and he will still make french toast on Saturdays mornings because I love it so much. We do these things because we love each other and we know it will make the other person happy. We are not trying to impress, just trying to make each other's lives better. That's the difference.

Now, can someone remind of this blog post before I have to watch The Matrix for the 4,000th time?

In the heyday of our courtship phase. Oh mah God, We look like Behbees!

New Years Meme

I couldn't stay away... I'm looking back... and I said I wouldn't do it, sorry!

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

Worked a full time job and breastfed a baby (for 8 months). Worked full time on very little sleep. Demanded a merit increase. Learned how to type. Took my blogging seriously. Went to Lollapalooza. Took a family Vacation.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn't make any New Year's resolutions last year. I knew I was going back to work and that was going to be tough enough for me!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Ha! Um yes, too many to mention, although 3 friends had identical twin boys. You can't make this stuff up people. Twins are going to take over the world. Also, had a friend who is having two children 14 months apart, so they are going to be twins in a sense!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?

Yeah, the farthest I traveled was to Chicago.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?My prebaby weight. A new house! (A girl can dream can't see?)
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

January 7, 2008. I went back to work. Hardest month of my life.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I survived and my family thrived.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not getting rid of all the baby weight. Still living in this house.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I broke a finger, and then a toe. Am rock star.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Something I bought? I didn't buy anything for myself (unless you count shaving cream). Something someone bought for me would be my ipod touch.... or as I call him, Ian (pronounced eye-an, like Ian Ziering).

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

So many people have been great... my husband, family, friends,blog friends, certain co-workers ....

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Um... don't know if I can answer this honestly..... can I just say that S and K who read this know who she is...

14. Where did most of your money go?

Food and Childcare. Gas too! Fun!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

President Elect Obama. Lollapalooza. Jacob walking. Great Wolf Lodge.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

Grip Like a Vice, The Go! Team... also Viva la Vida, Coldplay (Jacob's fav) or Upside Down, Jack Johnson (Drew's Fav).

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

a) happier or sadder? same

b) thinner or fatter? thinner- not really difficult, I had just had a baby last year.

c) richer or poorer? richer (doesn't feel like it though).

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Exercise!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Wiping butts. Cleaning.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At my parents house, sans puking boy and my husband.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

I have been in love with my sons and husband, and that love changes and grows every day.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Chuck, The Office, Grey's Anatomy, and Gossip Girl, and (sigh) American Idol. I cannot tell a lie.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I would love to say no, but unfortunately yes. (I'm not naming names.)

24. What was the best book you read?

I read I think 6 books this year? Um, most memorable will have to go to the Twilight series.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Everything at Lollapalooza... and the Editors

26. What did you want and get?

Ipod Touch. A sweater coat (seriously, I have wanted one FOREVER).

27. What did you want and not get?

A new house! Can I stress this enough?

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Iron Man. Love Robert Downey Jr.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Went to see Iron Man, then to Irish pub, then to comedy club, then to neighborhood bar. I turned 29.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Moving to a new house. Losing all of baby weight. Sensing a pattern here.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Short blond hair I don't have to comb. Now I am growing it out!

32. What kept you sane?

Blogging, wine, friends.... vacations!

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Zachary Levi... because he looks like my husband. I know where my bread is buttered.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Well obviously the presidential election, followed by Proposition 8. Why can't we just let people marry who they love? Totally linking to Jodi's post at DC Metro Moms about this one.

35. Who did you miss?

I always miss my Papa every year, and wish he could've met my wonderful boys.

36. Who was the best new person you met?

So many blogging friends, too many to link. In real life, I made some new friends, most notably Kristy (even though technically I met her of Oct 07, was a little preoccupied with giving birth, etc.)

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

You get through in life what you have to<-- Jodi, who I copied and pasted from, wrote this, and I think it is so true!

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

This one is hard! Here we go:

I am likely to miss the main event

If I stop to cry and complain again

So I will keep a deliberate pace

Let the damned breeze dry my face

Tagging anyone who wants to do this!