The No Return Policy

Sometimes the most interesting conversations I have all day long happen when I am driving my children home from shcool. Also, most of my best blog fodder comes directly out of my almost four year old's mouth. Case in point, last night:

"Jacob keeps trying to take my map!" Drew whined.

"Well, Jacob just wants to be like you, and so he thinks your map is pretty cool," I explained. (The map in question was a blank piece of paper, folded into quarters. The imagination on this child is the stuff of legends. He seriously set up the coolest workshop in his room with levers and pulleys. I would have taken pictures, but he had to demostrate it to get the best effect. He really can make a mountain out of a mole hill in his mind.) "Tell him, please don't try to take my map." Hey it's the best I could come up with while driving through traffic.

Drew repeated this to Jacob, who then proceeded to cry.

"I think we need to get a new baby," said Drew.

"A new baby? Don't you love your brother?"

"Well, I think we need to get a new Jacob. One that doesn't cry and pull hair," Drew explained. (Jacob likes to give something that I like to call "tough love". He climbs on top of people, gnashes his suprisingly very hard head into them, and holds their head by the hair, so the person can't escape the "love". He usually likes to target me. Jacob's new favorite target is Drew, and Drew is not as big a fan of the "love" as Jacob is.)

I couldn't help but humor him. "Where would we get a new Jacob?"

"Well, remember, you and Daddy went to the baby store and bought Jacob. You could return Jakey and get a new one."

"Oh." Yeah, now was not the time to get into that. That was a conversation reserved for him and his Daddy (caveat of having all boys, I dubbed hubby in charge of "the sex talk") in a couple of years, definitely not a conversation I wanted to have while I was operating a moving vehicle. "Yeah, um, right. I know sometimes Jacob does things that frustrate you, but we can't return him because we love him. Constantly Sometimes you do things that frustrate me, but I would never return you because I love you."

"Yeah, you are right Mommy, I never do things that flustrate you." Drew exclaimed.

"Ummm, okay."(SO not touching THAT one with a ten foot pole.) "Anyway, we love Jacob. He is going to stay with us, forever."

This one here, he is a keeper. Crying and pulling hair included.