Maroon 5, Doggy Sundaes and Snoopy (Subtitled: I Want to live in My kid's Imagination, it's awesome there)

This morning was a toughie. Why is it that the wine that sounded so great last night made me feel so terrible this morning? Unfair- it was only 3 glasses, good gravy (sorry, I am obsessed with trying to work good gravy into a sentence- did it work there?) I am a lightweight.

The point is I was hurting a little and we were running late. Luckily the imagination of Drew saved our morning drive and reminded why 5 year old conversations are awesome (and ultimately much more fulfilling than adult conversations):

Halfway to school Maroon 5's "Misery" came on the radio.

Drew: You know, I could see Louie dancing to this.

(In case you forgot, this is Louie)

Me: Really?!?


Drew: Yes, I see him dancing around on one toe, twirling around, surrounded by bowls of vanilla ice cream with doggy bones stuck in them.

(I s#$t you not people, that's what he said.)

Me: Wow.  (Pause) That's quite a picture in my head.

(This is the pic in my head)

This dog-

Doing This:

surrounded by "Doggie Sundaes"

Drew: Yep! (Said all smugly) and then I will be like (Breaking into a smug dance the equivalent of the 'Head nod' dance- and Drew can dance, so this looked pretty cool.)

Me: I would love to see that!


Drew: Yeah, I'm a pretty good dancer. So can we bring a CD player outside with this song when we get home?

Me: Yes, we can.


Thanks for the funny this morning, Drew.

** On a side note, this makes me wish I had written down the conversation that I had with Mr. B about monkeys when he was sleep-talking. Mr. B sleep-talks a LOT. That post would be titled: Mr. B is a monkey trainer when he falls asleep

He may be on to us...

Drew: Mommy, you love your Ipod so much.

Me: Yes, I do. I love something else more, though. Do you know what it is?

Drew: Eating?

Me: I love something else more... what is it? (Who) is it?

Drew: Hmmm... you love buying puppies.

Me: Um, why do you think that?

(I mean, okay, yeah, we bought a puppy (!) this week, but it's a surprise y'all! How did he know?)

Drew: Well, you buy puppies for everyone but me.

(Whew, he doesn't know... maybe we should stop hinting, you think?)
Here's our puppy! If this picture of him doesn't melt your heart, you must be a Grinch. Or have Grinch-like tendencies. Our puppy will be coming to live with us January 2nd. Yes I can barely contain myself...and it's a secret... at least until Christmas. Right now we are trying to come up with names- any suggestion? (No, we can't ask Drew either, just this past Saturday he called himself Savishaaallaam and his brother he named Fart-Fart-hksihebfilk.)

By the way... Drew never figured out the answer... himself (and his brother and Daddy of course). It was a close race between the "eating" that I love, and them. Somehow they won out.

Blockage (No, not that kind)

I'm stuck. My brain can't even wrap itself around typing out a decent post, y'all, because I have spent 24 hours this week alone doing monotonous data entry and feeling pukey and tired (no I am NOT pregnant, so please don't be the 40th person to ask).

I'm trying to even think of anything interesting that has happened in the past week to comment about (Drew's fixation on defecation, while amusing, has taken up enough of my time and energy posting updates on Facebook. All of the good stuff I have to say is being absorbed into Facebook, you should be my Facebook friend. Just sayin'.)

Screen capture: the final frontier in Facebook recycling. When I am plagiarizing myself from an hour ago, you know it's bad. No brain waves here, just the lulls.

There are some exciting ideas I have coming up though- so stay tuned. There will be changes, a giveaway for my 300th post, more pictures, and I am hoping to God, more funny on its way.

Not Me! Monday! Drew-ism Edition

Ahh.... 4 year olds. They do NOT say the funniest things sometimes. Drew was NOT particularly funny this week either. Here are some things Drew did NOT say this week:

My name is Drew. I am four and I was made in heaven. (Okay, uh, not exactly Drew!)

I know, I am always a good boy. (His response after I told Drew good night and said he was a good boy that day.)


Daddy and I are going to take that land and turn it into a garbage dump. (Pointing to land on a corner of a busy intersection. I am sure everyone would like that.)

We are saving our money and other people aren't making money. (When asked how we would purchase said land. Unfortunately with a 12+% unemployment rate, that statement maybe closer to the reality than we think.)

I am four and I am almost an adult. I can do what I want. (Sigh. Our little teenager in training! Maybe we should stop talking amongst ourselves about how he is getting so old.)

I was so young then. I wish I could be that young again, {sigh}. (While looking at a picture of himself as a baby.)

This blog carnival was created by MckMama. Go head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

The Nipple Talk

Photo Credit: -bast-

As Drew gets older I have noticed that he is getting more and more inquisitive. The unfortunate outcome to this inquisitiveness is that he asks a lot of strange questions about things for which I don't have answers. I was putting lotion on Drew after his bath when we had this kind of conversation. The conversation for which you can never really prepare. The nipple talk.

"Mommy, what will happen if you put lotion on these?" He asked, pointing to his nipples.

"Nothing, honey. It's like your skin."

"What are they?"

"Nipples."

"What are they for?"

I thought for a moment. "Boys don't use their nipples for anything." Please don't ask me what girls use them for... I chanted silently in my head.

"What?!?" Drew exclaimed in his cute incredulous tone. "Why?"

"I don't know."

"We have to use them for something."

"Umm...." I thought. Seriously, what do men use their nipples for? I remember I had a trivia book with this name- God forbid I actually remember anything from it? "They are used to make sure you know which side is your front and which side is your back."

"Oh." Drew was deep in thought for a minute, then he looked up at me. "Okay!"

A little fabrication doesn't hurt now and then right? Mother of the year is right here!

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Woot to Michigan State for making it the Final Four! They played their hearts out on Sunday. I couldn't be prouder to be a fan. If you have read this post, you will really know how excited I am!

Thanks to Dan River Mama @ A Kiss and a Peck for the Honest Scrap Award. My 10 honest answers can be found here. Also, I made an "awards" page where I link to all those that have given me awards. Thanks bloggy buds!



I am having serious issues with feedburner not working. If you use reader to read my blog the new posts won't show up. So if I haven't posted in a while then please check the actual website, until I get this resolved. Also, I will definitely be posting Friday Favorites this week, so if it's not updating in your Reader, please check the actual Blog for updates. Thanks for being such great readers!

Please- Send thoughts, love, support Mckmama's way. We are all pulling and praying for you, Stellan.

Sad, sad, day...

So if you follow my on twitter or facebook you probably know about Nina. Nina is a dog that our office/executive director are fostering right now. The ED's dog doesn't get along with Nina, so she needed a new foster home. We agreed to try out fostering her.

Nina is so sweet and fun. Drew loved feeding her, giving her treats, throwing the ball for her, even telling me that he loved Nina "too much". However....

...Jacob was scared to death of her. He cried when she got within 10 feet of him and wanted to be held the entire time. We thought maybe he just needed to sleep on it. In the morning he felt the same, even telling her to "go". So unfortunately we are unable to foster her, and apparently medium sized dogs (she's 40 pounds) are out of the question for now.

I was very sad. She cannot go back to the shelter because if she does she will be put down, because she is a mutt that is part pitbull. She is very sweet though, and would be great with a family with older children (I am thinking 3 and up). She is in excellent health, 6 years old, sweet, gentle but also tons of fun. I cried when we had to give her back. I want to see her go to a loving home. If you live in the Michigan area and are interested please email me or comment on this post with an email address. If you know someone who is interested please direct them to this post.

Thanks!

Little Green Bites

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I don't have the finger strength to type something long, so here's some little "green" word bites to hold you over for the next 3 days while I am busy.

Here's hoping that if you run into a leprachaun it's the one on the left and not on the right!




Just rented Blackout from the library. Seriously why are all Britney Spears CD's so embarrassing looking? Each cover looks like a badly made porno. I feel I may need to brown bag this one just to transport it.








And for that matter why do "Circus" and "Gimme More" sound so much alike?




This morning I was getting Jacob out of his highchair and he was acting grumpy about it. I look at him and blurted out of frustration, "you are not the king of the house Jacob. Be patient!" Drew looked at me and said, rather matter of factly, "yes he is."

Last night the boys were playing in their sandbox. I asked them what they were building. Drew told me "I'm making compost." I asked him what compost was, and he said "it's made of old food and you spread over the dirt of other plants and it becomes food for the plants."

Mr. Bee looked at me and said "I just found out what compost was two years ago, and he knows this already?"

"Well, you can thank our friend, Curious George for that one," I replied.


From Twitter:

My husband always says that if Jessica Alba is in a movie, you know it's going to suck.

Some of the people following me? @yourboyfriend and @getyourloveback! What are you trying to say to me, Twitter?!?

Don't you think it would be cool if you knew someone named "Mylady"? I'm sure someone out there is named this.

I can't believe I have such bad heartburn from Milk. I am old, for reals.

There's nothing like the smell of BO permeating every room in your office. And, no it's not me.

My 17 month old son is going gaga over NASCAR. I guess it's just ingrained in certain people.

Okay, now why am I suddenly Zitty McZitterson today? I am almost 30, I am too old to be going through puberty.

I know I might be losing it... because I called a woman at the deli a smelly pirate hooker.... in my head.

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Have a good day everyone! See you on Friday for Friday Favorites!

Friday Favorites #3

Okay, so I'm having a rough day, but I am going to go a POSITIVE route... and write my Friday Favorites! These are the things that got me through this week!

Jumpstart Advanced Preschool World
See Drew's first computer game. See Drew play his computer game. See Drew play the game by himself. See Drew play the game all by himself while Mommy does dishes. See Mommy keep an eye on Drew playing his game while Mommy does dishes in the Kitchen/Computer room. Genius.

Lysol Antibacterial Wipes: The easiest, fastest thing to clean the counters, table, etc. I know they are not eco-friendly, but I use cloth diapers (most of the time), so I will allow myself this one extravagance.

For Favorite Posts this week, I am changing it up- These are Posts that affected me, as in Blog Traffic:
http://www.mycharmingkids.net/2009/02/not-me-monday_23.html

http://www.thesitsgirls.com/2009/02/sunday-shout-outs_22.html

I was 1st for Mr. Linky for Not Me! Monday this week and guess what? 600 Blog Hits that day. Insane. I was linked to on Sunday Shout Outs at SITS and I got 160+ comments for my Giveaway (Have you entered my Giveaway yet? Please go do so!). Craziness. I am still sifting through the madness, but there are worse problems to have, right? Thanks to the SITS girls, Heather and Tiffany and thanks to MckMama!

Modest Mouse, We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank
I picked up the Album to rent at the Library (The library- in the Friday Favorites hall of fame). Love it, love it, love it. It's a winner!

Another Friday Favorite (at least for this week) is Wine. I will be partaking as soon as the kiddies are tucked in. Yeah for Fridays!

All of my readers! Seriously, you guys are so nice and kind. One reader in particular is so sweet and she was trying to get some comments on what she should blog about. Go visit Debra at Well Behaved Women Barely Make History, and give her some cool ideas. She is so friendly, you will enjoy stopping by!

My 2 boys. Yes, Drew and Jacob aren't always on my list, but they have been extra sweet and charming this week.

Jacob is saying ALL kinds of new words this week, like, "hot" and "waffle", ever since his ear infection went away. The kid has quite an expansive vocabulary for a 16 month old. Me being my children's biggest fan, is thinking that he might just be a genius! Then again, maybe not.

Drew is Mr. "I love my Mommy". When Mr. Bee and Drew went to the ice cream store, Drew told Mr. Bee that he would share his ice cream with me so I would give him lots of hugs and kisses. Mr. Bee was so touched, he had to tell me right when they walked in the door. Of course, he omitted the fact that Drew also said I would take him to Florida if he shared his ice cream with me. Yeah, that one is a little less likely.

I am so excited to spend the weekend with my cuddlebug and my genius!

Whew! I'm feeling better already. That was a nice stress reliever!

Questions for you:

What are some of the Favorite things that got you through the week?

If I put a Mr. Linky up for people to participate in Friday Favorites would you be interested?

The No Return Policy

Sometimes the most interesting conversations I have all day long happen when I am driving my children home from shcool. Also, most of my best blog fodder comes directly out of my almost four year old's mouth. Case in point, last night:

"Jacob keeps trying to take my map!" Drew whined.

"Well, Jacob just wants to be like you, and so he thinks your map is pretty cool," I explained. (The map in question was a blank piece of paper, folded into quarters. The imagination on this child is the stuff of legends. He seriously set up the coolest workshop in his room with levers and pulleys. I would have taken pictures, but he had to demostrate it to get the best effect. He really can make a mountain out of a mole hill in his mind.) "Tell him, please don't try to take my map." Hey it's the best I could come up with while driving through traffic.

Drew repeated this to Jacob, who then proceeded to cry.

"I think we need to get a new baby," said Drew.

"A new baby? Don't you love your brother?"

"Well, I think we need to get a new Jacob. One that doesn't cry and pull hair," Drew explained. (Jacob likes to give something that I like to call "tough love". He climbs on top of people, gnashes his suprisingly very hard head into them, and holds their head by the hair, so the person can't escape the "love". He usually likes to target me. Jacob's new favorite target is Drew, and Drew is not as big a fan of the "love" as Jacob is.)

I couldn't help but humor him. "Where would we get a new Jacob?"

"Well, remember, you and Daddy went to the baby store and bought Jacob. You could return Jakey and get a new one."

"Oh." Yeah, now was not the time to get into that. That was a conversation reserved for him and his Daddy (caveat of having all boys, I dubbed hubby in charge of "the sex talk") in a couple of years, definitely not a conversation I wanted to have while I was operating a moving vehicle. "Yeah, um, right. I know sometimes Jacob does things that frustrate you, but we can't return him because we love him. Constantly Sometimes you do things that frustrate me, but I would never return you because I love you."

"Yeah, you are right Mommy, I never do things that flustrate you." Drew exclaimed.

"Ummm, okay."(SO not touching THAT one with a ten foot pole.) "Anyway, we love Jacob. He is going to stay with us, forever."

This one here, he is a keeper. Crying and pulling hair included.