On Running

Okay, so I am an asshat. I have not meant to be away or worry anyone. I just have no time anymore. In fact, I'm wondering how I ever had time for a blog ever, with how filled my life has been. In fact, I think I said this last time, which makes me even more of an asshat. (Is such a thing possible?) I'm sorry for all of the wonderful comments I missed (seriously, I don't deserve you guys, but I am working on responding).

Here's my update: Drew is doing well, we have talked to his teachers and they are keeping a close eye on the situation. Obviously we are still concerned, but things seem better so far. Mr. B now has 3 shifts at his work which means working considerably less. It started this week, so fingers crossed. Mr. Calamity is spending most of his days on our special, new TO bench, or marching like a dinosaur... and Louie is recovering nicely from his surgery that we got him so "he doesn't go make little baby Louies", as I told the children, or as Mr. B told Drew, "the surgery that removed his balls". (He cuts to the chase more than I ever could.)

What have I been doing? Why training for a 5k. Fun times.

I have found training for a 5k to be very time consuming. Especially when you are a terrible runner like I am. If you could call what I do "running". It's more like "walking with a bounce". This is usually how the run goes....

0:00-2:00 Warm up. Oh, this will be fun. I am excited to burn some calories.

2:00-4:30 Oh, I have so much energy. This is great!

5:30-7:30 Side cramp, must fast walk.

10:00-15:00 Back on track- doing great- hey wait, am I really tired from "running" a 12 minute mile?

15:00- 17:00 SHINS ON FIRE.

18:00-20:00 Really, I'm fast walking again? Must find annoying fast song on Ipod. Okay, That'll do Britney Spears, that'll do.

20:00-25:00 Okay I might die now. Must keep going... shins and side now working together in an effort to make me stop.

25:00-29:30 A "can't breathe" slowdown, accompanied by "Must do" second wind.

29:30-32:00 Almost done- kind of? I really hate these mirrors alongside me at the gym. I am a sweaty tomato.

32:00 Ha! Person on treadmill stopped. I am stronger than them. Give gloaty look to senior citizen as she walks by.

32:00-38:00 Push to make my "best- worst" time at 5k (i.e. The time I need to get to not berate myself.)

38:00-40:00 Cool down. Thank god that's over. Wait, I have to do it again tomorrow?

I will definitely update you all when I finally do the 5k in a week and a half. Yup. I'm TOTALLY freaked. Then you can see some pictures of a red tomato "walking with a bounce".