April 29, 2013


I've always scoffed at the idea of a family being complete. Everyone says that as a way to justify their means, right? I never felt that feeling of complete after Jacob, our second child was born, I always had longing and wonder. I assumed it was because I was longing for a girl.

So we decided to try again, even though I was scared about having 3 babies, and I felt so selfish and irresponsible for bringing another being into this world when I wasn't sure I was a good enough parent for two beings already. I also felt guilty about breaking with the status quo. Having two children is "just right" in the eyes of many, while three seems excessive to others. The looks that I received when I was pregnant and people found out I was a having a third boy were not very reassuring, either.

The pregnancy was the toughest of all three and I thanked my lucky stars when I was done with that process (seriously, I smiled through labor, even BEFORE the epidural) and I had a healthy baby boy. Still, I worried about the affect this baby boy would have on my other boys.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that instead of resentment on their part, there was so much love.

Ten months later, this love is still there, and you know what? Today I am making it official: I feel our family is, in fact, complete. Matthew was always meant to be here, and now our family feels finished. This was right for us, for our family. The picture is complete, and it really is amazing the difference I feel. Now I don't even pay mind to what others think. Dang I'm lucky.


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