Hopefully this never comes up again....

While watching a nature documentary, they stated that elephant seals spend all of their time "fighting and fornicating."

"Daddy," Jacob said. "What does fornicating mean?"

No pause. "It means fortifying, you know, like he is guarding his perimeter." Mr. B said this  quickly and matter of factly.

So just for future reference in a play date, Jacob's language is not his fault, you can blame Mr. B.

*Also, this is one of the many reasons I hate nature documentaries.

Complete

I've always scoffed at the idea of a family being complete. Everyone says that as a way to justify their means, right? I never felt that feeling of complete after Jacob, our second child was born, I always had longing and wonder. I assumed it was because I was longing for a girl.

So we decided to try again, even though I was scared about having 3 babies, and I felt so selfish and irresponsible for bringing another being into this world when I wasn't sure I was a good enough parent for two beings already. I also felt guilty about breaking with the status quo. Having two children is "just right" in the eyes of many, while three seems excessive to others. The looks that I received when I was pregnant and people found out I was a having a third boy were not very reassuring, either.

The pregnancy was the toughest of all three and I thanked my lucky stars when I was done with that process (seriously, I smiled through labor, even BEFORE the epidural) and I had a healthy baby boy. Still, I worried about the affect this baby boy would have on my other boys.

I was pleasantly surprised to see that instead of resentment on their part, there was so much love.

 

 

Ten months later, this love is still there, and you know what? Today I am making it official: I feel our family is, in fact, complete. Matthew was always meant to be here, and now our family feels finished. This was right for us, for our family. The picture is complete, and it really is amazing the difference I feel. Now I don't even pay mind to what others think. Dang I'm lucky.

 

What We Have

It's Spring Break around here.

A lot of D and J's friends are going places. One of his friends told me nonchalantly "we are going to Disneyworld, I think."

The Bees are staying home. My not working, a new baby, and a desperate need for a new roof kept us there.

Sometimes I worry because we are in an affluent suburb that they will feel the sting of being on the lower end of the "normal" income spectrum. It's hard for me to watch as they see their friends going places and doing things we just can't afford.

Then again...

I told the boys we are going to the local Zoo. They are over the moon thrilled. They are excited to all be home as a family.

Never once did they complain about not going on a trip. Never once do they take a fun outing for granted. I can guarantee that my children will never say they are going to Disneyworld nonchalantly.

 J told me that we "don't have a lot of money". This is my fault naturally, as when they want to do something this is tooridiculous/tooexpensive/toomuchsomething, I flat out tell them it's too expensive (along with other reasons). Sometimes this is true, sometimes it's a little bit of a fib, but it stops the begging. "No," I corrected him. "We have just the right amount."

And it's true. Look at all we have.

That being said, we could still really use a vacation. Just keeping it real.

To Three or not to Three?

photo © 2005 Marco Bellucci | more info (via: Wylio)
I have been going back and forth with my husband over the same topic for two years. I always think we have resolved the issue, and that we are moving on with an answer. Unfortunately, both of us keep losing our resolve.

The issue is whether or not to have another child. I have always wanted to have a girl, and when the ultrasound revealed that we were having another boy four years ago, a part of that dream died for me. I love my two boys without question and would not change a thing about them, but I still sometimes feel sad that I will not have a relationship with a daughter like my Mom and I have.

Then, once Jacob was born, the question became: will we try again for a girl? Both my husband and I have changed our minds on this so many times over the years. He was against it for a while, wanting to wait until we were "financially stable". Then he realized that "financially stable" was a phrase that was synonymous with "fairy tale". I decided last summer that I wanted another child once I lost x amount of weight. Then I changed my mind, and decided that I didn't want to buy diapers anymore when Jacob was quickly potty trained. I thought this was the last word and that my husband did not want another child....

....Then a month ago he began cooing over babies. It turns out someone has baby fever and it is not me for once. (I may have had an inkling about this turn of events coming when he seemed a little saddened by my decision for no more children; I tried to ignore this.)

Now the question has become: am I willing to revisit something I had stopped thinking about? The idea of having another child is terrifying and exciting all at once. I can sit here and go over pros and cons, but honestly, I will never come to a decision that way. I'm not sure this feeling of uncertainty will ever go away. Is that uncertainty enough reason to have another child? All of the reasons not to have another child really seem selfish and silly, but haven't I earned the right to be a little selfish? It is my body that will be taken over again.

Also, babies turn into two year olds. They all do eventually. That idea alone is terrifying.

Has anyone gone through anything similar and if so, what did you decide?

Pre-Easter Leftovers

I'm too tired to post any intelligent thoughts... I am still recovering from Easter weekend. The house still has a lingering hard boiled egg-fart smell to it from boiling 24 eggs that needs to be aired out. There is still fake Easter grass on our carpet. Our chocolate bunnies have not all been eaten, and I still have some peeps with my name on them. So I will leave you with the pictures that I took at the playground on Saturday, the pictures that made my camera run out of batteries so that I could not take any pictures on Easter. They turned out pretty good, even though the sun was pretty intense that evening. Please enjoy.

Checking it out.

Almost to the slide.

Jacob's turn!

Hi Mom!

Whee!

Dust bunny.

Want to know what got them giggling and running? Thousands and thousands of dollars in playground equipment and they had the most fun chasing birds.

My Interview with Boodle, My Elf on the Shelf

So I thought you might be sick of hearing about the four of us, I thought you might want to hear about our temporary fifth member of the household, Boodle, our Elf on the Shelf. To learn more about Boodle, click here. Warning: there are major puns and bad jokes located within this text. Proceed with caution.

Me: Okay Boodle, thanks for chatting with us. I know you aren't supposed to speak to the families you stay with. Are you going to get into trouble?

Boodle: No, it's just the kids I'm not supposed to talk to. You adults just ignore me, so I ignore you.

Me: Sorry.

Boodle: Whatever. Not a big deal. *sniffs*

Me: So tell me something a little bit about yourself.

Boodle: My real name is Gavin and my job is very demanding during the Christmas Season. During the off season, however, I write novels, under a pseudonym of course.

Me: Really? Anything I have read?

Boodle: Have you heard of Harry Potter?

Me: Yeah!

Boodle: Well, I didn't write THAT but I wish I had. Man I would be RICH! I also went to Lollapalooza. Yeah, you are lucky I didn't tell Santa about what I saw you doing at Lollapalooza. Drink beer much?

Me: Yeah, I think we should, um...move on. So how long have you been a Christmas Elf?

Boodle: Well, you are my third family, so about 20 years.

Me: Oh, wow- how old are you?

Boodle: 65.

Me: You look so young!

Boodle: Yeah I get that a lot. Felt and plastic doesn't really age. Plus candy cane diets are very good for you, believe it or not, and I get a lot of exercise running from Homes to the North Pole.

Me: I bet that's difficult.

Boodle: Well thanks for covering for me the other day when I forgot to go by saying that you forgot to move me. I totally fell asleep.

Me: Um... no problem? So, since you "observe" our family all day, is there anything you can share with the readers about our family?

Boodle: Of course at an interview about me, you ask about yourself. You bloggers are a vain bunch.

Me: I'm not vain! A little self absorbed, maybe.

Boodle: Riiiight. Okay, so something about your family? You guys wear pajamas a LOT. And Mom, you swear under your breath often.

Me: Thanks for that.

Boodle: Well, Santa knows already, he's known for years... you were swearing back when you were 8, you know. Picked it up from your Dad, he's a champion swearer.

Me: Hey, don't say bad things about my Dad!

Boodle: I like your Dad! What's wrong with swearing? Elves swear all of the time, part of the reason that we don't talk to the children. I'm really cleaning it up for the interview, you know.

Me: Well thank you, the readers appreciate that.

Boodle: You mean all 11 of them?

Me: Hey, aren't you supposed to be a nice Elf?

Boodle: Who told you that?

Me: I just assumed.

Boodle: Well, assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

Me: You said you wouldn't swear.

Boodle: Sorry!

Me: What is Santa like?

Boodle: He is everything you've ever imagined. Jolly, generous, has trouble staying away from sweets. Kind of reminds me of Oprah. I don't see him every time I go to the North Pole. I see his Personelf Assistant. Santa is a busy guy. I will see him when he comes down your chimney on Christmas Eve. Speaking of that, you might want to move the toys that are in front of you chimney. Do your kids really even need toys?

Me: Okay, I think we need to wrap this up, it is going downhill quickly. One last question- who would you rather be stranded on a deserted Island with, Tinker Bell or the tooth fairy?

Boodle: What kind of BS question is that? Tinker Bell was made up by an JM Barrie. The tooth fairy, however is very REAL. On that note.... Tinker Bell.

Me: Really?

Boodle: Yeah, the Tooth Fairy is a little long in the tooth. *Snickers*

Me: Oh hardy har har.

Our Running Tally

The Hubby and I have a little competition that goes on in our house. This competition is called "who works harder around here" or alternately called "who has it worse around here"? Everything, down to the littlest minute details is discussed and judged. Almost everything seems to have a point value, and one of us is always ahead and the person who is ahead is the one that "works harder" and "has it the worst". The other person then must compensate.

Lets say for example (and most of these are situational- it depends on who is ahead):
He works longer hours (+3), but I clean more (+5, at least in my eyes).
He mows the lawn (+2), but I do the laundry (+4, hey it's year-round).
He makes breakfast (+2, +6 if it's served in bed), but I make dinner (+5).
I put Drew to bed (+3), but he gave Jacob and bath and put him to bed (+4, we'll give him the edge on this one, even though Drew is very difficult at bedtime).

Alternately it carries over into fun activites too.
I went to Lollapalooza (-20), but he went on 3 boys weekend vacays this year (they were shorter so -25).
He saw a movie last week with his sister (-5) , but I went out to dinner with mine last week and shopping with my Mom this week (-10).

It also carries over into who can score a babysitter too. If I score the babysitter (i.e., beg my Mom), we have to do what I want when we go out, and not sit at the Sports Bar all night like he would prefer to do.

Now the real life scenario (today):

Hubby woke up really early for work (+10). He forgot to take out trash (-5). He worked a long day (+5), came home and ordered pizza (+3). He fell alseep after dinner, therefore missing out on the never ending fun of "Bedtime" (-2). Then he was woken up by wife to check a funny smell in the basement and had to clean out a mouse trap (+100!) Afterwards he helped his his wife look for missing snowpants (+5) and didn't get annoyed when she was upset that they were not found (+10).

Janna woke up later for work (-5).Janna got the children ready for school (+10) and took them to school (+10). Janna bought milk and pop and bread at QD on her lunch break (+8). Janna picked up the kids from school (+10). Janna put Jacob and Drew to bed when Hubby fell asleep on couch (+15). Then Janna woke hubby up to check mouse trap (-20), and freaked out about missing snow pants (-20).

Oh did Janna mention that she is getting her husband a

Spoiler: show

{Playstation 3}

for his birthday (+1000)?

I am so freaking ahead, it's not even funny.

So does anyone else operate their marriage in this secret, silent code? Or do you have a different one? Do you think I should give my Hubby more points for the mouse?

And finally, what are the odds that said Hubby will finally read my blog for the first time and get his birthday surprise ruined?

When is it too much?

I used to love the show Jon and Kate plus Eight. Loved it, thought the family was so cute. This season however, I've started to dislike it and I realized why.

I noticed that Jon and Kate were doing less working and housework and I heard the rumors why... Jon doesn't work because of how much money they make off the show and going to churches. They have an organic gourmet chef who cooks for them, and people who come and clean and do the laundry. I mean all of this is fine and dandy, but it doesn't make for a good show. If I want to watch people getting stuff for just living their lives, I'll watch Let's make a Deal or something. I liked how "real" their life and struggles seemed and now it all seems fake. Considering I work full time, have two little children, and pay over $1500 a month in childcare with barely enough time to ever write in my blog, let alone go on trips everywhere, I don't like to watch something where I hear someone cry poor me and neither parent is working, paying for childcare, cleaning, or cooking? I mean I know they have 8 kids, but please! They go on free trips all of the time and they have both had plastic surgery (I don't blame Kate for hers, but the hair surgery for Jon? Come on!). This is not a normal functioning family.


But even before the rumors, I was starting to feel the cameras were there too much and the kids need a break. Who can live their life under the cameras and lighting. I mean look at all the spoiled Real World kids. After it is all over they bitch about the 5 months being scrutinized under the camera, and these little children have lived their entire lives under it! It's all the sextuplets know! Drew will be 4 soon and I CONSTANTLY worry about him growing up to live a normal life and being happy. I want to give him every opportunity to do so, and these children, I feel, are destined for failure. Don't get me wrong, I was totally in support of them getting help, and monetary help, but at some point, you are just pimping out your kids. I even worry about putting images on my blog of my children. I never put images of my nieces or nephews for that very reason. I mean, will Drew be mad one day that I wrote about his potty issues, or hurt that at one time, I didn't like him that much? It is a risk I am taking. I worry about this and I don't know if Jon and Kate worry about doing this to their family at all. I don't think they are horrible parents, actually far from it, I think they have just gone a little Hollywood for my taste. They need to come back down to earth and get the damn cameras out of their house.

In case you are wondering, they will be removed from my DVR lineup. Iron Chef America and Design Star are staying, however. (Such a reality-tv junkie at heart!)

So peaceful

Everyone in my house is sleeping right as I blog this. It is so quiet. I love it.
Seriously, how adorable is this?

This picture is upside down because I didn't want the flash to go in his eye.

Anyway, Meet the Spartans was as terrible as I knew it would be. We stopped watching after 20 minutes. Those parody movies get worse and worse every year. They just aren't funny, and I can't fake it.
Today it is beautiful outside, although a little windy. I brought out Jacob's fancy new gating system (which we totally never needed with Drew, but Jacob is a wild man, and needs many gates and everything padded so he doesn't hurt himself).Drew wanted to play in it as well, which ended up being "Mommy I want in... now I want out... now I want in...." I did get a very cute picture of them, however.

This weekend gets an A- grade. The minus is for the 20 minutes of Meet the Spartans.

I Miss.....

...lazy weekends. Whatever happened to those? This is the closest we have gotten to one of those, and still, there is a ton of yardwork and getting ready for a Garage Sale- and yuck I hate Garage sales! We did get to go to Ukai tonight with Shaun's parents (it's a Japanese steakhouse where they cook at your table). The kids loved it, even Jacob (especially Jacob) although I thought he would be scared when they light the fire. Next week is our Garage sale, and then the week after that Lollapalooza! Three nights without my babies and my hubby. I'm sure I will miss them terribly, but I hope not enough ruin my fun.

Okay, must go to watch Meet the Spartans and drink some wine. (The wine is tolerate Meet the Spartans, in case you were wondering.)

#1 Reason to have 2 children.

As I was putting Drew in the car the other day, he looked at me and said "I love my baby".

"Who is your baby?" I asked.

He pointed and Jacob, and said "he is my baby brother. I love him."

'Nuff said.

Drew is smarter than Mommy

This morning I was packing up my lunch and Drew asked what I was doing. "I'm getting my food ready for lunch today," I told him.

"Let me see," he asked.

I put the bag down so Drew could see into the bag, which held a diet coke and a south beach diet frozen pizza.

"Silly Mommy!" Drew exclaimed. "That's not food!"

"You're right Drew, you are so right." I responded.

Decisions, decisions....

So after a long time of doing pros and cons, weighing all of my options, and a lot, I mean a LOT of serious soul searching, I have decided to return to work after the baby is born. I love the idea of being home with the baby and the idea of not working. I loved when I was home with Drew. What I DON'T love is the idea of being at home with the baby and a three year old. I am not the great entertainer. I can't imagine running around all day with a 3 year old who doesn't nap AND a newborn. I don't really think it is fair for Drew to be stuck inside all day while the baby naps or eats. I also think that Drew gets so much out of his interaction with his peers. He's such a shy little guy, he needs their interaction to help him stay out of his shell.

For the people that disagree or disapprove of my choice, get over yourself. Being a good parent is knowing your limitations and doing what is best for your child. For me that means a little me- time, away from the boys. I like being a separate person. I like going places with my husband and my friends without my son. Does that mean I don't miss him terribly when we are apart? No, it is one of life's annoying, heart wrenching little ticks. I miss Drew every day while I am at work. I love my son, I tell him I love him, I play with him (when I am not exhausted), and he only gets time outs when he is out of control. I will never be a perfect Mom, but I will always make sure that my children know that they are loved and that I am proud of them.

On that same note, I have TOTAL respect for SAHM's (stay-at-home Moms, to the newbies), I was one myself for almost a year. I think if you can afford it and you enjoy it and do it well, more power to you. I just know that it isn't my path to take at this time.

Bad Mom things

Okay, most of us who are Moms have done some despicable things which we will NOT mention. Here is a couple that I WILL mention... and I would like to let everyone know that I am not proud of all of them... but some of them I am kind of proud of!

1. I have stuck a pacifer/sippy/ spoon in my mouth to clean it after it has fallen. (Hey, doesn't 65 second rule still count?)

2. I have let my son watch something borderline appropriate just to get a minute of rest. (It is only TV-14 if you don't cover his eyes during the questionable parts.)

3. I have let my son play with questionable objects. (Make-up brushes are okay, right? I'm not scarring him for life, am I?)

4. I have breastfed in compromising situations. (And I would do it again, in a heartbeat. If it bothers you, here's the great things about eyes, they have the ability to LOOK AWAY.Take advantage of it!)

5. I have missed, on numerous occasions, my pre-mommy life. (Come on, we all have. If you haven't, I must question your pre-mommy life.)

6. I have sometimes stared at pictures of my baby in awe and amazement. Don't we all think we have the most beautiful baby?

7. I have shown MASSIVE amounts of PDA in front of everyone.

8. I let him have a sip of pop (or soda, if you prefer) to get him to quiet down.

9. I have used my dog as a bribe. (If you haven't, your offspring does not love animals as much as mine does.)

10. I have cried about being a bad mom, only the next day to feel that I am a great mom.

Parenthood is a roller coaster isn't it? Yet I would not change anything about it. I also can't wait to have another one (as long as I don't think about the logistics for too long!! :)