Wishing and Hoping

Tomorrow is the big day, yes it is the ultrasound day. The day we discover whether the paint the baby's room in pink or blue (actually I probably wouldn't go with either of those colors, but you know what I mean), and get to finally use only one third-person indefinite pronoun (no more he-she, his-hers, I will be able to use only one), and start looking at cute impractical dress shirts or cute, impractical dresses. I am excited and so nervous. Everyone that knows me knows I want a girl. I want a girl so bad, before Drew came along the only male I was completely at ease with was my husband. (Yes, I am including my father, I love him dearly, and we have grown very close, but he's not really much of a talker, and I am more at ease with talkers, hence, my marrying Shaun.) I grew up in a girl-centric family, and all of my jobs have been composed of mainly women. I love frilly things, all the things that equal being a girl. I love Drew, and little boys are precious, but I want a girl so I can be done wanting a girl, and with this one, be done having children. (God, I am a selfish cow.) I don't want to end up with three boys.

And yet, I feel the odds are stacked against me. Everywhere I turn there is a sign that I am having a boy, and right now I am reading everything as a sign. I saw a little boy with blond hair in the diaper commercial, it is a boy for sure. On the babycenter name poll, Andrew came in first, obviously I am having a boy. My body is starting to shape like it was with my last pregnancy, obviously means I am having a boy.

I would like to add a disclaimer here: of course my first concern is the baby's health, that goes without saying.

I just hope that if it is a boy, I do not get upset. I can think of nothing more awful than crying (and trust me I hope I don't, but the ultrasounds make me much more emotional) if it is a boy, and if I do, that is a story that will never be told to little Jacob or Connor. (Or whatever his name would be). I hope I will have a great story to tell little Mia or Maggie. (Or whatever her name might be.)

Here's to wishing and hoping.....
Oh yeah, I guess I like parentheses today huh?