Introducing Mr. Matthew

My baby may have been a day late from his due date, but I am 10 days late in posting this:

Matthew George, born 7:43pm on Monday 7/2/12, 8lbs 11oz, 21.5 in. He's my sweet baby boy and he is perfect. Love, love, love. The brothers are doing great and love him too. More details to follow soon. :)

30 w 6 Days.... Comparison

Mr. B came home last night and had the audacity to comment on how large I've become. Because yes, pregnant women in their third trimester LOVE that! He even said I was bigger than I was with Drew, my 9lb baby. I disagree wholeheartedly, especially since I don't want a 9 lb + baby if I can help it! So here is a comparison shot of me at 32 weeks with Drew, and 30w 6 days with Baby Battlestix. I know it's not a perfect match, but lets see....

32weeks with Drew

Lets just call it 31weeks with Battlestix

Wow, I think it's a pretty close tie- I was hoping it wouldn't be so close. I will try to think Average-sized baby thoughts for Battlestix....

Being Pregnant is FUN- a list and pie chart

Fun things you are NOT allowed to do while Pregnant, according to Pregnancy Message Boards
(My favorites are in purple and the ones I've done anyway are underlined)
1. Eat Sushi
2. Drink alcohol
5. Run (unless of course you were a runner beforehand, but due to my track record of falling while running and lack of consistency I had to give it up.)
6. Walk my dog
7. Listen to loud music
8. Get a pedicure/manicure without making sure the nail polish is pregnancy safe
9. Eat lunch meat
10. Eat Hot dogs
11. Get hair colored/highlighted/dyed
13. Drink soda
14. Drink "Diet" anything
16. Ride Roller Coasters
17. Take hot baths
18. Go in hot tubs
19. Eat soft serve ice cream or Yogurt





Warning: this Pie chart is very scientific, I know because I made it on the Paint portion of my computer.



"Fun" things you are allowed to do while Pregnant
1. Go to the Doctor a LOT
2. Pee in a cup
3. Get weighed a LOT
4. Think about your weight a LOT
5. Eat (although not TOO much, you aren't really eating for two, you heffer!)
6. Read
7. Get your ass stomach kicked from the inside by Damien-like spawn in the belly
8. Have strangers touch your stomach and guess that you are way further along than you are
9. Have strangers touch your stomach and guess that you are not very far along at all and look at you concernedly (okay, that might not be a word)
10.Watch TV
11. Take Pictures of your belly
12. Nap, a lot if you are lucky and can
13. Play poke your cankles
14. Wear a "new" fakey wedding ring when your hands swell up.
15. Read message forums and laugh at all the neurotic first-time Moms
16. Read message forums and get freaked out by all the posts from neurotic first-time Moms
17. Think about Baby Names
18.. Argue with SO about Baby Names
19. Have people ask you what your Baby names are and watch them be frustrated by your refusal to tell them. (Alternately if you tell them you get to hear why that name doesn't work because it was their frenemy's, Dog's, or kooky Uncle's name).
20. Hear every person's horror Birth story.
21. Hear every one's opinions on breastfeeding, cloth-diapering, epidurals.... etc
22. NEST
23. Register
24. Gain weight (but not too much, you heffer, you want it to be ALL belly. Not too little though, don't diet, and if you're a bigger girl, well then even less, because OBVIOUSLY you are really good at controlling your weight, so let's add some pressure!)
25. Cry at EVERYTHING

For those of you obsessed with baby bumps like I am- Nearly Wordless Wednesday

Almost 20 weeks- and the ultrasound hasn't happened yet, February 16th, dear god, I should just have it tattooed on my head. PS I have decided I am carrying the baby in my boobs and hips. Just sayin'.

2 + 1 =

Okay, I'm officially calling it.

I'm Pregnant. Almost 11 weeks (!) It happened really fast after we made our decision to start trying. I announced it on our Christmas cards, just as an aside. I thought it was cute, but of course I did fret about if people thought doing that was showy. My news, I can share it how I want to, right?

I have been so sick and exhausted I haven't been able to do much, and not talking about it on my blog has been brutal! So glad the cat is out of the bag!

I'm nervous and excited and nervous and nauseous. This puts a real rush on getting the house ready to sell, unfortunately I am so freaking tired and Mr. B is working overtime, so it's been impossible to do. I wish the "magical getting your house ready to sell fairy" could come over here. (Design to sell anyone?)

Did I mention I'm really tired and nauseous? This pregnany is kicking my butt! Hopefully that means it's a girl.... hope hope hope. This one has been harder than the others. I'm looking forward to the second trimester.

Now that I can talk about this, I will be back with more soon.

I love a lot of people- Maybe you?

I read my last post, and decided that I sounded like a cranky bitch, then I read some other posts and thought, hey I'm a cranky bitch in all of these!! So here's my rebuttal against myself. I swear, people that know me in real life do like me, some even think I'm pretty nice.

Here are some things I love:

Anytime Drew is not throwing a tantrum, he is such a sweet little boy.

When Shaun and I go out alone, we have the best time, and it doesn't matter where we go (although we do enjoy our favorite bar, Revere's, when I am not preggers).

That feeling right after the baby is born that they are the most amazing being ever, and you are awesome for being able to create something like that.

Blog comments. I miss all the ones I got when this was on myspace.

Work lunches with work people. I actually enjoy the people I work with.

Lunches and shopping with my Mom and Sister, Amber, although that hasn't been in FOREVER.

When Drew is laying in bed with us and we're trying to sleep and he speaks in a whisper.

Going out with my friends when I'm pregnant and knowing I'm the only one waking up without a hangover.

My nieces and nephews. So cute.

My non- related "niece" Nya.

My friends getting pregnant.

Jimmy Johns Vegetarian Sub.

The new movies I've seen, Knocked up and The Bourne Ultimatum.

Going places as a family.

Going to dinner with friends.

Sleeping in.

Getting a lot of cleaning done in a short time.

My stomach actually being firm and hard when I'm pregnant.

People telling me Drew is beautiful. That NEVER gets old to me. That, and them calling him sweet.

People saying I look tiny when I tell them how far along I am. Unfortunately those days are over.

Watching new episodes of the Office with Shaun.

Times that I actually help someone in need at work.

Going out with my old work friends. Doesn't happen that often, but when it does, it's really fun.

Going to the movies. Doesn't matter what we see, I know we will have fun.

Family Holidays. Mostly Thanksgiving and Christmas.

MSU Mens Basketball. I love Izzo. If he ever leaves I will cry.

Any song that makes me think of babies. Examples "First Day of my Life" by bright eyes, "Somewhere over the rainbow" the version in 50 First Dates.

The movie About a Boy, also A Princess Bride, Fever Pitch, and the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, to name a few.

Watching Drew and Nate play. They love each other so much and are so cute together!

Blogging.

Thinking about blogging.

I hate everyone- including you

I'm glad I have been pregnant before. Because I have been pregnant before, I can remember how utterly insane I get during the last month of pregnancy. I am a total bitch. There is no way around it. I really don't know exactly what hormonally happens to me, but every one and every thing suddenly gets labeled as "the most annoying thing in the planet". For example, this morning I followed someone who had the nerve to go the speed limit all the way down Mt. Hope rd. How dare they do that, didn't they know I was running late? Then they actually go straight, and don't turn at the light as I need them to. When I get out of my car, 5 min late, the sun is too bright, the trucks are too loud, and the stairs are too steep. When I sit down in my chair, my phone rings. How dare they call me, don't they know I just got here?

All of this doesn't help when you have a 2 1/2 year old who just realized that he needs to start experiencing his terrible twos. At first, when he started hitting and spitting on me, I took it personally. I tried reasoning with him, time outs, and even crying (lots of crying). Now I am just ignoring it. Drew's better off if I just ignore the (literally) 40 tantrums then if I try to correct the behavior. Because I AM NOT A NICE PERSON RIGHT NOW, and I don't want to take that out on him. No, unfortunatly, that is saved for Shaun right now, him and anyone who is on the road with me.

Some other things that annoy me:

People that try to give me advice when I just want to vent.

Women that love being pregnant. Shut up. You can't possibly love this all the time.

Women that don't miss drinking when they are pregnant. Good for you, maybe you can hold my uterus while I drink a bottle of sweet precious bud light.

People talking to me at daycare when I am in a hurry to drop Drew off. Time is money, people.

Shaun working late.

Shaun working on the weekends.

Shaun golfing on the weekends.

People voicing their opinion on possible name choices. I didn't ask for it, so why are you telling me? If you didn't like the shirt I was wearing would you tell me? Not unless you are a rude bitch. It's our decision, not yours.

Having so much to do and very little energy.

Trying to get Drew to put his toys away.

Our carpet. It's so dirty.

Cooking.

Cleaning.

Trying to sleep.

Spencer on the Hills.

The American version of "Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares". Not.... the.... same.... at all.

Watching so much TV when I should be cleaning.

Cleaning when I want to watch so much TV.

Braxton Hicks Contractions. They do hurt.

Getting weighed at the doctors.

My ankles.

Trying to pick out cute maternity clothes every day.

Radiator heat.

Temper tantrums.

The fact that Drew can open child safety gates. Seriously, what is he, Houdini?

When my ipod pauses for no reason in the car.

Shaun leaving his boxers, socks, what have you, on the floor. Lazy husband.

People asking me how I feel. I feel awful 90% of the time. But that's not what people want to hear.

My son (actually both of them- the one inside and the one outside) kicking me all the time.

Drew saying "I don't love you" and refusing to kiss me when I get home.

Friday afternoons- why isn't it 5 already?

Pregnancy Hormones

I gotta tell you, I'm not sure what's wrong with me, but this video made me bawl. And then Shaun made me watch this video which was equally sad, but didn't make me cry like a baby like I did for the first one.

Who is afraid of the Big Bad Labor?

I've been reading all these posts about being scared of labor, and as I have been through it before with an honest to god 48 hr labor (and without drugs), I do have a bit of knowledge on this subject. I say "a bit" because I hate know-it-all Moms that have all the answers for pregnant women because they have gone through something before. Every Mommy and Baby are different, everyone has their horror story, their own pain tolerance and their own battle scars from labor and delivery.

First things first.... it is scary, traumatic, awful, and awfully dirty. There's no denying it. It's plain gross, and plain painful, whether or not you get an epidural. It's scary and it feels like pain will never end. Good news is that it will end eventually and then you forget how bad it hurt. I'm pretty sure this is an evolutional mechanism that is built into us so that we will have more children.

Second thing.... guess what? You look like shit afterward. No matter how hard you try to look nice, with a few obnoxious exceptions (one of my best friends Marta being one) you are not the same afterward, in fact your face puffs up like a balloon (I'm not sure what the medical reason is behind this, I just know it to be a fact). This will also be the time when you want pictures, so a good rule of thumb is to focus on Mommy looking down at baby. That way she can be in the picture without looking as awful as she feels. My family didn't give me this luxury and sent out godawful pictures of me minutes after labor to all of our extended family. Don't let anyone do this to the poor Mommy.

However....

In the moment that these awful, horrible, gross things are happening, you are just getting through the moment. You lose all sense of shame when you are in that much pain. I will tell you this, as much as worried about pooping on the delivery table before I went into labor (I didn't, by the way, with a 48 hr labor you have enough advance notice to take care of that), I could've cared less when it came time to push. I was only focused on getting that baby out, and getting rid of that pain....


And then afterward? It is euphoric once it is over. You did it! You survived, and no one can take that away from you. You wear that as a badge of honor for the rest of your life, because epidural or not, C-section, pain medications, episiotomy, or not, you created a beautiful human being.

Of course, your life as your know it is now over, and a different kind of frightening experience begins, one that never goes away, called motherhood.

So congrats to all the soon-to-be Moms that I know (one new addition that I am particularly excited about comes to mind) or wonderful Moms that I do know. It sucks but it's wonderful and exciting at the same time. Yay Motherhood.

Oh yeah, and whoever came up with the saying "we are pregnant", that's crap.

Growing....

When you get to a certain point in your pregnancy, you longer care how you look or what you wear as long as it is decent. This moment came quicker than expected for me for one particular reason....

Let me start at the beginning.

It was really hot this past Sunday when I went over to my friend Sarah's house to play her new wii. I didn't want to wear pants, but my shorts were getting tight in the rear (am I carrying the baby in my butt? apparently), and my other pair were more pajama shorts, so I wore my tight ones.

When I got over to Sarah's, I got a glass of water, and had to bend down in the fridge. "Um, Janna," Sarah said. "You might want to invest in a new pair of shorts. Nice pink underwear, though." I was a little embarrassed that she had noticed how tight they were, and a little taken aback that she would mention it.
I just sort of shrugged, and we went about playing the wii.

Afterwards I stopped at Quiznos to pick up some food, and when I got home, changed back into the comfy PJ shorts.

That night when I was folding my clothes I noticed a 3 inch RIP in the rear of my pants. I mean it was huge, and the weird thing was that I never heard it rip. I mean, I didn't think they were THAT tight! I went all those places without any idea I was flashing everyone my pretty pink underwear.

Now that I have had my little flash show for the public, I don't think it matters what I wear or how I look, I don't think anything can top that.

The Elephant in the room

Has anyone heard about this weight loss drug called Alli, I think? Supposedly it makes you have really bad diarrhea if you eat fatty foods. That's what it does. Apparently it is THE new diet drug, like metabolife 10 years ago. How nasty is that? Anyway, I was thinking after the baby and breastfeeding, I might use it. I'd rather risk getting diarrhea all the time than be this weight anymore. I can't stand the thought of gaining more weight. For me it is the WORST part of being pregnant. For someone who has had weight and eating issues all my life, it is like a nightmare to me to have to sit and watch myself get big. The funny thing is, for as much weight as I have gained already (if you must know, ahem, 25 lbs) I haven't ate that much differently than normal. I mean last time I was like Janna the hut, eating all in sight. Now I try to be better.... with minimal results to show for it. How annoying. No one even talks about how monstrously large I have gotten. It's the elephant in the room no one talks about, except that the elephant is.... me. And I have 14 weeks left! All this time to get bigger, with no way of stopping it!

I have to remind myself that it is worth it.... and it will be in 14 weeks. I can't wait to meet my little man. THEN I can start playing russian roulette with my bowels.

Decisions, decisions....

So after a long time of doing pros and cons, weighing all of my options, and a lot, I mean a LOT of serious soul searching, I have decided to return to work after the baby is born. I love the idea of being home with the baby and the idea of not working. I loved when I was home with Drew. What I DON'T love is the idea of being at home with the baby and a three year old. I am not the great entertainer. I can't imagine running around all day with a 3 year old who doesn't nap AND a newborn. I don't really think it is fair for Drew to be stuck inside all day while the baby naps or eats. I also think that Drew gets so much out of his interaction with his peers. He's such a shy little guy, he needs their interaction to help him stay out of his shell.

For the people that disagree or disapprove of my choice, get over yourself. Being a good parent is knowing your limitations and doing what is best for your child. For me that means a little me- time, away from the boys. I like being a separate person. I like going places with my husband and my friends without my son. Does that mean I don't miss him terribly when we are apart? No, it is one of life's annoying, heart wrenching little ticks. I miss Drew every day while I am at work. I love my son, I tell him I love him, I play with him (when I am not exhausted), and he only gets time outs when he is out of control. I will never be a perfect Mom, but I will always make sure that my children know that they are loved and that I am proud of them.

On that same note, I have TOTAL respect for SAHM's (stay-at-home Moms, to the newbies), I was one myself for almost a year. I think if you can afford it and you enjoy it and do it well, more power to you. I just know that it isn't my path to take at this time.

Hoochie Mama

Seriously, why are they only made for hoochies that want to show off their goods? The other day I put on a cute top, and was so excited about it, got to work and realized I would have to safety pin it on the top to keep it closed, or wear my good friend, white tank top, underneath it. I mean, not all of us pregnant women are size A's. Some of us have to wear bras so big that the only colors they come in are nude, white and black. Just sayin'.

By the way, I can't believe I used the word hoochie. I guess if I wore the top without a safety pin, I would be a Hoochie Mama. Hee hee.

It's a....

Love how I tease you like that? How mean. Anyway, much to my surprise, it's a boy! A healthy boy who definitely likes to move. He was actually holding his feet by his head in the ultrasound. I have to say, my reaction was very subdued. I was in shock because everyone (Including myself) thought it was a girl. I didn't realize this, but I think that I was so nervous about the baby being healthy that when everything looked normal, I was fine with whatever I was having. There is a little disappointment, I don't like the thought of never having a girl. That actually does make me sad. But Drew now has a little friend to play with and I will be the Mom of two boys. Never saw THAT one coming. He's a very healthy looking boy, no concerns, everything looked great, and my placenta was in the right place, away from the cervix, (they thought it might have been near the cervix because of all the spotting). Due date is still October 23, so no surprise announcements about how I am farther along than they expected (darn!)

The most wonderful thing about my ultrasound? For the first time in this pregnancy, it feels real. Like my coworker Ian said when I showed him the pictures, "there's like a little person inside of you!" Yes there is. And there is only one way the person is getting out. But that's another time, another blog.

Wishing and Hoping

Tomorrow is the big day, yes it is the ultrasound day. The day we discover whether the paint the baby's room in pink or blue (actually I probably wouldn't go with either of those colors, but you know what I mean), and get to finally use only one third-person indefinite pronoun (no more he-she, his-hers, I will be able to use only one), and start looking at cute impractical dress shirts or cute, impractical dresses. I am excited and so nervous. Everyone that knows me knows I want a girl. I want a girl so bad, before Drew came along the only male I was completely at ease with was my husband. (Yes, I am including my father, I love him dearly, and we have grown very close, but he's not really much of a talker, and I am more at ease with talkers, hence, my marrying Shaun.) I grew up in a girl-centric family, and all of my jobs have been composed of mainly women. I love frilly things, all the things that equal being a girl. I love Drew, and little boys are precious, but I want a girl so I can be done wanting a girl, and with this one, be done having children. (God, I am a selfish cow.) I don't want to end up with three boys.

And yet, I feel the odds are stacked against me. Everywhere I turn there is a sign that I am having a boy, and right now I am reading everything as a sign. I saw a little boy with blond hair in the diaper commercial, it is a boy for sure. On the babycenter name poll, Andrew came in first, obviously I am having a boy. My body is starting to shape like it was with my last pregnancy, obviously means I am having a boy.

I would like to add a disclaimer here: of course my first concern is the baby's health, that goes without saying.

I just hope that if it is a boy, I do not get upset. I can think of nothing more awful than crying (and trust me I hope I don't, but the ultrasounds make me much more emotional) if it is a boy, and if I do, that is a story that will never be told to little Jacob or Connor. (Or whatever his name would be). I hope I will have a great story to tell little Mia or Maggie. (Or whatever her name might be.)

Here's to wishing and hoping.....
Oh yeah, I guess I like parentheses today huh?

Are we really doing this again?

It's about this time in the pregnancy that the realization sets in that yes, I am having a baby, and yes, I do get to go through all the pain and suffering that brings. The first trimester is like a bad cold that just sticks, you feel awful, but not so much pregnant, just a little... strange. Now is when it starts to become real. I am showing, a lot (I love in all the books they talk about how your belly might start to protrude a little- ha, definitely those are made for first time mommies), and I know the baby will be coming out one way or another. As infinitely difficult as it is to be pregnant and have a two year old, I can't imagine what it will like after the baby is here. What have we gotten ourselves into? Some days Drew takes up all of our energy as it is. Now I am watching my sisters go through this difficult transition with newborns, and while their babies are lovely and well-loved, I gotta say it ain't always very pretty. Drew is portable, and easily watchable, but with an infant? Not so much. We are busy traveling all weekends, playing outside, and managing a normal life. Do we really want to go back down this road. As my brother-in-law Chris said "I would talk you out of it, but I guess it's too late for that." What a wild ride we are beginning, I hope we are ready.

The Cat is out of the bag....

Well, yes everyone I am pregnant! I wouldn't have announced it so soon, I know what they say about bad luck and all, however, I am going to start showing any day now (blah) so why wait any longer? Due to all of the problems I have had with spotting with my little one, I have already had 2 yes, 2 ultrasounds where they have heard the heartbeat. Basically I was told that some people just spot. How reassuring. In other words, so far this has been a pregnancy from H- E- double hockey sticks, if you catch my drift. Between the ALL day nausea, the mood swings, and the mind boggling fatigue, and all the undue stress of constant spotting (it happens if I do anything as strenous as even vacuuming), it has been rough, especially with a 2 year old running around all of the time.

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to have another one, I can't wait! I'd just like to skip ahead 7 months and be done with it already. I think I will need a lot of love and support with this pregnancy, and I have had moutains of it from Shaun. He has really stepped it up, so to speak, and I only have to hear about how stressful this pregnancy is on HIM (if men only knew!)once a week.

So wish us good thoughts please, in this journey we are beginning. I think we will need them!

Love, Janna

Under Pressure

Just so all you childless married souls know, the pressure doesn't end with the birth of your first child. It has started again for me and Shaun. My Aunt pulled me aside at Drew's Birthday party, and in a whisper, asked me when we were thinking about having the next child, a slight desperation in her voice, as if she survives only upon the sound of cute little baby gurgles. And this is not the first person to say something mind you.

Why oh why, now that Drew is two, do people think it's okay to pressure for baby number two? Maybe I only want one child, did anybody think of that? Maybe we are waiting until I have a stable job. Maybe I want to lose the weight from having Drew before I pack on another 40 (okay 50) pounds. Maybe I want my children spaced farther apart, so I can get a built in babysitter with Drew? (My secret fantasy.) Maybe we're lame and feel overwhelmed enought as it is! Any way you slice it, it's just plain annoying. So, please, no one ask me. When I am pregnant again, I will let you know, I promise. Until then, worry about your ovaries, not mine.