Being Pregnant is FUN- a list and pie chart

Fun things you are NOT allowed to do while Pregnant, according to Pregnancy Message Boards
(My favorites are in purple and the ones I've done anyway are underlined)
1. Eat Sushi
2. Drink alcohol
5. Run (unless of course you were a runner beforehand, but due to my track record of falling while running and lack of consistency I had to give it up.)
6. Walk my dog
7. Listen to loud music
8. Get a pedicure/manicure without making sure the nail polish is pregnancy safe
9. Eat lunch meat
10. Eat Hot dogs
11. Get hair colored/highlighted/dyed
13. Drink soda
14. Drink "Diet" anything
16. Ride Roller Coasters
17. Take hot baths
18. Go in hot tubs
19. Eat soft serve ice cream or Yogurt





Warning: this Pie chart is very scientific, I know because I made it on the Paint portion of my computer.



"Fun" things you are allowed to do while Pregnant
1. Go to the Doctor a LOT
2. Pee in a cup
3. Get weighed a LOT
4. Think about your weight a LOT
5. Eat (although not TOO much, you aren't really eating for two, you heffer!)
6. Read
7. Get your ass stomach kicked from the inside by Damien-like spawn in the belly
8. Have strangers touch your stomach and guess that you are way further along than you are
9. Have strangers touch your stomach and guess that you are not very far along at all and look at you concernedly (okay, that might not be a word)
10.Watch TV
11. Take Pictures of your belly
12. Nap, a lot if you are lucky and can
13. Play poke your cankles
14. Wear a "new" fakey wedding ring when your hands swell up.
15. Read message forums and laugh at all the neurotic first-time Moms
16. Read message forums and get freaked out by all the posts from neurotic first-time Moms
17. Think about Baby Names
18.. Argue with SO about Baby Names
19. Have people ask you what your Baby names are and watch them be frustrated by your refusal to tell them. (Alternately if you tell them you get to hear why that name doesn't work because it was their frenemy's, Dog's, or kooky Uncle's name).
20. Hear every person's horror Birth story.
21. Hear every one's opinions on breastfeeding, cloth-diapering, epidurals.... etc
22. NEST
23. Register
24. Gain weight (but not too much, you heffer, you want it to be ALL belly. Not too little though, don't diet, and if you're a bigger girl, well then even less, because OBVIOUSLY you are really good at controlling your weight, so let's add some pressure!)
25. Cry at EVERYTHING

The Unbearableness of Being a Grownup

photo © 2008 Ivan Dervisevic | more info (via: Wylio)
Confession time: I am extremely shy in person.

Now, people that KNOW me who are reading this are saying- "no you're not, you big weirdo. I can't ever get you to shut up." Well, I am way outspoken and ridiculous once we are friends, I have a lot of anxiety over meeting new people. My social anxiety even extends to speaking to people I know well that I haven't seen in a long time is difficult. My stomach twists itself in knots during social occasions. I am constantly unsure of what to say. My inner monologue works overtime to trip me up, letting me know that what I said is weird or strange or stupid. I do not want to discuss anything meaningful or interesting because I am so worried I will come across as stupid or strange. (Seriously, I live my life in a constant fear of being considered stupid or strange to strangers... friends and family already know I'm strange, so I can't fear that from them.)

I know how ridiculous it is to worry so much. I know I should just BUCK UP, I'm an adult. It is excruciatingly hard for me to buck up, though. The most challenging part for me is to talk to other parents. I feel young, stupid and weird talking to them. They seem so together, and I am so not together. I have a hard time forging even a fake friendship with them. I go to an event like a birthday party and always think of what I should have said, and don't speak up enough. I wonder... does everyone feel this way? How do they deal with it?

So in conclusion, if you see me somewhere and I seem snotty or aloof, I am probably just nervous off of my butt to even talk to you. I probably love your shoes, handbag, demeanor, or jokes and it has made me way too intimidated to talk to you. Also, I am probably overly tired and a little brain fried from my day so far (this makes the condition worse). Please understand and don't judge me. I will try not to judge you either.

People want to be my twitter follower, here is why:

Having a twitter account makes me able to say some really awesome things. Don't you wish you followed me on Twitter?

My topics include humping...

digestive bodily functions...

and then there is this:

Winner winner, chicken dinner?

If you like this kind of thing, (and who doesn't?) you can follow me here. I will follow you back, you lucky thing.

My Confessions

I will sometimes jam out really loud to a really dorky song in my car and then turn it down when I get to a red light.

I am obsessed with American Idol.

I giggle at inappropriate things.

Whenever I lose weight, I lose it first in my ass. This makes me sad. I NEVER lose it in my stomach- I'm like a reverse hourglass.

I own seasons 1-3 of Dawson's Creek. (Pacey forever!)

I dance around to my Ipod while I clean my house.

While I hate cooking, I'm actually a pretty good cook.

I love to talk about and think about food. It's my addiction.

I am never full. I just stop eating when everyone else does.

I am actually very concerned about the Eggo Waffle shortage. Damn you Kellogg company!

My biggest fear? Flying in an Airplane. Ever since I saw the movie Alive when I was 10 in the theaters. I cry every time we take off and then I'm okay once we are in the air. Poor Mr. B hates flying too, but he has to keep me calm. Next time I fly, I think I will need drugs.

I have seen New Moon twice.

I'm pretty sure I'm going bald, also maybe blind.

I might be a little bit of a hypochondriac.

My Family still thinks of me as the baby of the family. I'm pretty sure they can't believe I am raising two kids.

I saw the movie 2012, and now I am a little scared for December 21, 2012.

I would eat at Noodles n' Company every day if I could.

I put cheese on everything!

I'm comment obsessed.

I have something big that I am excited about... but I am not telling you guys yet.


What are some of your confessions? I would love to hear them!

Conversations of my life

Mr. Bee: Your hair looks nice today.

Me: Thanks!

Mr. Bee: Did you do something different?

Me: Yeah, I washed and brushed it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Drew (looking up at the counter): Oh, my Halloween candy is gone. I guess the Candy Fairy took it.

Me: The Candy Fairy?

Drew: Yeah the Candy Fairy comes and takes the candy until Christmas.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Friend: My Mom goes out to lunch every single day with her friends. It's like, how does she even have that much time?

Me: I know, my Mom goes out to lunch with a group of friends a lot.

Friend: It's really annoying sometimes.

Me: Yeah. (Pause) I hope we get to do the same one day.

Friend: Yeah, me too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lyrics to Drew's made up song:

Bow Chica Wow wow
That's what my baby said
bow wow wow
heart starts pumpin'
chica chica goo
I love you
bow wow wow
heart starts pumpin'
chica chica goo
I love you

Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K

This Month in strange events and funny happenings from around the world, and in the Bee's world....

Awww... Kirk, really? Kirk Cameron's claims about Darwin's theory of evolution being false makes me even more embarrassed that he was my first crush.

Did you know when I would write WTF, I was referring to Wisconsin Tourism? Well, not anymore.

My kids are totally losing in the cutest kids contest. I know what you are thinking- how is this possible? They are so cute! Well, you can vote and change this- on the left hand sidebar of the blog, there is a voting spot. (Jacob is #16 on the baby one, Drew is #8 on the kid one.)

One of my blogging friends looks like a barbie. No, really.

My Nonnie (Grandma) totally schooled one of my Facebook friends:

Did I tell you how awesome my Nonnie is? I hope I am half as cool as her when I am a Great Grandma.

TLC decided to change name of series from Jon and Kate plus Eight to Kate Plus Eight. You have taken a step in the right direction, TLC, by getting rid of the DOUCHE. Now, how about getting rid of the media circus show altogether?

Ellen on Idol? This is late, but what???

Oh yeah, and there is the whole issue of the deer that decided to run into my Bessie. With all the Bees in the car. Luckily no one was hurt, I mean, except the deer.

Don't worry, I bought Ernie to soften the blow.

Hahaha, it wouldn't be funny if it weren't so true. Wait, did I say funny? {Sob}

Addictions

Can someone help me with my addition to exclamation points? I mean not everything is that exciting! It's horrible! Are there any twelve step programs out there for this? I have broken myself of double exclamation points by going cold turkey, do you suppose I should do that, or should I just slowly wean?

Maybe I am just juxtaposing* this with my bigger worry... weaning Mr. Calamity off of his Pacifiers.

Oh hell, this is going to be a bitch.

**Yes I Googled juxtaposition to see if I used it correctly, and I'm not sure I did, but I like the word and I tried to sound smart. Don't judge me.

This post talks entirely too much about puke (Why I am not going to BlogHer 09)

Everyone is all atwitter about going to the BlogHer Conference, what they are going to wear, who they will meet, etc.. I am not jealous of all of you and I have no interest in going to BlogHer. This is why:

I am a total scaredy cat, nervous Nelly, Shy guy, what ever cutesy term works for a borderline social anxiety disorder. This means I would end up following around the least interesting person in the room too scared to talk to anybody, then eventually when I did talk to someone I would lie about my subscriber account to someone to seem cooler than I am and then shortly after that I would end up drinking too much out of nervousness and throwing up in my purse out on a hotel balcony and then spend the rest of the conference tipping people with pukey dollars, spreading disgusting germs around (and yes I AM speaking from experience, I HAVE puked in my purse before- please people wash your hands after holding cash because someone might have puked on it) and then ultimately I will end up drunk, pukey and fawning over someone from MamaPop and try to explain to them why I think Coldplay is a good band, and they will slowly sidle away from me as I ramble on... and then I will run up and hug The Stilleto Mom and tell her how funny I think she is and she will see a. I am overly touchy-feely when I am drunk and b. that I am wearing flip flops with my dress and I will be so embarrassed, and proceed to tell her what an asshat I am, at which point I might just start lobbying all those around me for asshat to be included in the standard English dictionary....

I will wake up and spend the next morning searching for Advil because I will, of course, not have packed any and I will clean out my pukey purse crying that it will never be the same purse again, and oh this is worse than the time I spilled a jumbo sized pop into my purse at the movie theater when I jumped at a scary scene watching the Dark Knight, (oh that is such a good movie).

Oh yeah, and it was BlogHer or Lollapalooza; I couldn't afford both. That might have factored into my choice as well.

So all of you attending.... go, have fun! Socialize with (shudder) strangers. I'll stay here in my house while Mr. Bee is on his Golf weekend and I am home alone with the children and you are all having fun and tweeting about it, and I will curse you all for your #blogher tweets and stare longingly at my computer, wondering if next year I will be rich and brave enough to attend .... No, go have fun. I'll be okay (sniff). Just take my advice: don't puke in your purse... or you'll smell like vomit all weekend.

The post that is one big run on sentence (and promotes serious overuse of the comma)

To My Wonderfully Nice Readers:

I am sorry for my latest absence, it's just that I am so tired, it could be the soul-sucking 4 week training that finally ended, or it could be allergies or it could be that I am just burnt out from the never ending barrage of Birthdays (so much so that when I got frustrated because we have two Birthday Parties this weekend to attend, because for God's sakes man, like two every weekend since March, and I was acting like an asshat about it, but seriously so many parties that I don't even LIKE Birthday cake anymore zomigod and we have another one on Saturday too)

or it could be that I just need to chill and stop worrying about the mice and the woodchucks, earwigs, ants and strange little bugs that are infesting our house and maybe I just need to sleep, oh glorious sleep how I miss you so terribly, I want to just sleep for one day with no reason to wake up, no cleaning, obligations, or the need to feed anyone, even myself, because seriously I don't even like thinking about what I am going to eat anymore, all I have been doing is worrying about feeding others (for work and for mi familia)

which is why I will stop this lovely run on sentence and leave you all to go contemplate my navel, stare at my ceiling and not worry about how badly this post sucked and surely not check to see if anyone commented-because oh how I love comments- because if you comment, you should tell me how I am an asshat for this entire post, it's okay I deserve it as someone who is too lazy and tired to used punctuation correctly and I will probably spell something wrong too

and no I am not drunk, but I totally kind of wish I was and what does that say about me, after all it's only Tuesday, and yet it's so hot, too hot but I am going to shut my mouth because, after all, it could be like this outside:

So consider it shut and now I will go and try and catch some ZZzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzs and stop thinking about all I should be doing and to hopefully wake up refreshed and ready to use punctuation correctly.

Love, Janna

PS Spellchecker told me ZZZzzzzzZZZZzzzs and asshat were not real words, I disagree and think they should be included in the English dictionary- what do you think?

Ms. Positive and Moldy Food Edition of Not Me Monday!

Well I am back for more Not Me! Monday!

This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
Update: Please check out MckMama's blog. Her son Stellan is the hospital right now. Please go and give some words of support.

I am NOT starting to feel guilty in the slightest bit about only doing memes, giveaways and parties the last couple of weeks. I am NOT promising to have a virtually meme/giveaway free week (except for NMM and Friday Favorites). I am NOT secretly freaking out about writing an actual post because it has NOT been so freakishly long since I wrote something with content.

I am NOT freaked out about my new nickname in (my small little corner) of the blogosphere, "Ms. Positive". I didn't think that my Friday Favorites idea would inspire so much positive thinking, especially since in real life I am NOT considered Ms. Negative. (And a side note, I did NOT just use the word blogosphere? Yech.)

I am totally NOT grossed out by the new toy I bought Drew. I would NEVER say something is ugly as sin. I totally did NOT tell Drew that his two headed dragon is freakishly ugly. In turn he so did NOT beam and say "I know" and laugh maniacally (it sounded like "bwahaha").

I did NOT rush out and buy Twilight on Blu ray. Mr. Bee and I totally did NOT already watch it, and I did NOT explain behind the scenes (reader) information about Twilight. That would totally be dorky and that would NOT be my style, because I am NOT a Twilight freak.

I did NOT spend a good portion of my sick day on Friday on the computer making fun of people from High School to one of my oldest friends who lives in Minnesota. We did NOT Facebook IM all Thursday night and Friday afternoon. I have not seen her since September 08 and I am NOT totally missing her, nope NOT at all :(

I would like to tell you that I always keep a clean house and clean refrigerator. That is why I will tell you that the weird substance in a Tupperware container was left in someone else's fridge (NOT mine). I would NEVER be a freak and turn something like this into a contest and say that the first person who correctly guesses the contents of this container wins having their link (and name) at the top of my page for a week. I would NEVER ask people to guess something that is so gross (it is a food item, and it was only left in the fridge for 7 days-those are the hints). Oh yeah and that is NOT my Mom's Holiday Tupperware that she wanted back ages ago. I am NEVER a Tupperware thief. No way, nu-uh, NOT me!
Hmm... this has been harder than I thought for people to guess, so I am going to give a hint, and if this hint isn't good enough than I will give an easier one! This substance is Mr. Bee's favorite food item to make (hence why it sat in the fridge for so long) I allude to this in a post in December '08. See look how I am making you work for this!

I do NOT have the freakiest collection of pictures in my "March 09" pictures folder now. It is totally NOT filled with pictures of ugly two headed rubber dragons and moldy food because I had to take 4 or 5 pictures to get the flash out of the shot.

I totally did NOT use the word "freak" in some form in each paragraph. That would just be weird and weird is totally NOT me!

So what do you think is in the container? And are you so proud of me for NOT promoting Friday Favorites? Oh wait... too late!

Little Green Bites

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I don't have the finger strength to type something long, so here's some little "green" word bites to hold you over for the next 3 days while I am busy.

Here's hoping that if you run into a leprachaun it's the one on the left and not on the right!




Just rented Blackout from the library. Seriously why are all Britney Spears CD's so embarrassing looking? Each cover looks like a badly made porno. I feel I may need to brown bag this one just to transport it.








And for that matter why do "Circus" and "Gimme More" sound so much alike?




This morning I was getting Jacob out of his highchair and he was acting grumpy about it. I look at him and blurted out of frustration, "you are not the king of the house Jacob. Be patient!" Drew looked at me and said, rather matter of factly, "yes he is."

Last night the boys were playing in their sandbox. I asked them what they were building. Drew told me "I'm making compost." I asked him what compost was, and he said "it's made of old food and you spread over the dirt of other plants and it becomes food for the plants."

Mr. Bee looked at me and said "I just found out what compost was two years ago, and he knows this already?"

"Well, you can thank our friend, Curious George for that one," I replied.


From Twitter:

My husband always says that if Jessica Alba is in a movie, you know it's going to suck.

Some of the people following me? @yourboyfriend and @getyourloveback! What are you trying to say to me, Twitter?!?

Don't you think it would be cool if you knew someone named "Mylady"? I'm sure someone out there is named this.

I can't believe I have such bad heartburn from Milk. I am old, for reals.

There's nothing like the smell of BO permeating every room in your office. And, no it's not me.

My 17 month old son is going gaga over NASCAR. I guess it's just ingrained in certain people.

Okay, now why am I suddenly Zitty McZitterson today? I am almost 30, I am too old to be going through puberty.

I know I might be losing it... because I called a woman at the deli a smelly pirate hooker.... in my head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have a good day everyone! See you on Friday for Friday Favorites!

Words that I want removed from My Lexicon

These words can go:
Snow
Cold
Mushy
Snot
Pediatrician
Infection
Vomit
Boots
Mittens
Medicine
February
Booger
Winter
Cough
Economy
Crisis
Work
Taxes
Alarm Clock
Supervisor
Mess
Diarrhea
Foreclosure
Dow
Cancer
Bills
Bailout
Flu
Cloudy
Must
Should
Guilt
Moist
Hatred
Ma'm
Cruel
Steal
Bigot
"Ewww, thats poop"- I know it's a phrase but Kalei is right, I don't ever want to hear those words.
Period
Mammogram

These words can stay:
Wine
Cheese
Nap
Vacation
Sleep
Summer
Smile
Healthy
Happy
Babysitter
Lollapalooza
Clean
Love
Dance
Music
Laughter
Pillows
Baby
Fondue
Dogs
Sunny
Charity
Hope
Thanks
Keppe
Chocolate
Butter
Books
Blogging
Edward Cullen- Technically 2 words, but I agree with Cammie on this one.


What words do you want removed from your Lexicon? Which would you keep? Let me know in the comments below and I will add my favorites.

The Drama King

Drew: The official Drama King.

Don't let the smile here fool you. Drew is often happy, really he is, but cross him once and you are getting a visit from The Drama King. Even at a young age, The Drama King would find ways to appear, even sometimes out of nowhere, and always after a lack of a nap or too much sugar.

The Drama King often does not appreciate the Mommaratzi. The Drama King also refers to himself in the third person, in true royal style. The Drama King has a strict diet of candy and cheese only!

The Drama King came out in full force yesterday, specifically, when Drew was denied a cheese stick 15 minutes before dinner, The Drama King came out and cried for 15 minutes straight.
Drew bit his lip earlier in the day and therefore The Drama King came out and proceeded to walk around the house with his lips pursed, talking funny with his lip jutted out. And that was just the beginning. Drew cried and carried on all afternoon yesterday... thus officially earning his crown of The Drama King.

Sometimes Mrs. Bee has to play along with The Drama King and humor him, even join him. (In fact, Mr. Bee might attest that the Duchess of Drama, Janana, does indeed come out from time to time.) Mrs. Bee will do anything to go from this face....
...to this one. The Drama king might makes the Bees work for it, but when they do get his happiness back, it is worth all the drama it took to get him back to Drew.

PS This time Mr. and Mrs. Bee did not cater to The Drama King's wishes as The Drama King was sent to his royal chambers yesterday at 7:00 pm to SLEEP IT OFF. The royal subjects Mr. and Mrs. Bee are hoping to see the return of Drew today, and the relinquishing of the crown, at least for a week or so....

PS- My 200th post is on Friday... make sure to come back!

File Under: Conversations that make me feel like a Dork

I was twittering away one lonely Saturday night (Mr. Bee was on the potty playing Animal Crossing on my pink DS) when I got a direct message tweet from my friend S. Quick Background- S is a friend from High School and College, and he's kind of a techno nerd, and works for a company that hosts blogs. I haven't seen him in about 5 years, but we still talk often on Twitter and Facebook (FB) because, well you know, we are both Internet dorks. So this is how the conversation started, with Direct Messages on Twitter. You know it's only going to get worse from there.

S: You know you should prob. look into getting a hosted blog and throwing up some ads. And you know I do hosting .

Me: What does that even mean? How much does that cost?

S: {sees that I'm on Facebook and switches over to Facebook chat- yes I am on FB and Twitter at same time- shut up! S explains hosting and such, I still don't get it and don't have the transcript so I won't bore you} I figure if you put up some ads you could make some money. You get a lot of traffic right?

Me: No. I guess it depends on how many are "a lot". How many clicks do you get on your blog?

S: Daily? Some days are better than others, but usually about 400-800.

Me: {Jaw drops to ground.} My numbers are much lower. {Silently think: divide by 100}

S: Oh, I just thought since you post and tweet so much that you had a lot of traffic on your blog.

Me: Um, no, not really. {I'm totally embarrassed now- didn't think anyone really NOTICED my addiction} It's a labor of love really, and Mommy blogs, well there's a lot of them with much better writers, so it's hard to stand out.

S: Well, think about it. Who knows you could become a millionaire blogger and I can say I knew you when, and helped you get started.

Me: Yeah, um, don't think that would happen but it would be nice, wouldn't it? {I'm a dork, I'm a loser}

S: Haha, well I have to back to watching old movies {Slowly backs away from conversation with loserish friend}


~-~-~-~-~


My Dad tells people all the time that I have this blog and I'm such a great writer and it is really embarrassing. There are so many better writers out there, and my blog is a pithy little thing that I take very seriously, and my wonderful parents think it's so great. They have no idea all the greatness that is out there!

It reminds me of every time Mr. Bee makes a statement about how popular I was in High School, when I really was not, not at all, just a total wallflower, and he says, "Oh, all the popular girls say that." No, not lying, was not popular in High School and am NOT a millionaire blogger. (Oh, I wish right?)

So, on that note...

1. Does anyone else get 800+ clicks a day?

2. Does anyone else have family members/friends that think their blog is a much bigger deal than it is? What do your family members think of your blog? Do they know that you have one?

3. And finally... were any of you the popular kids in High School?

If the answer is yes to number 3: Really? Because I hate you now. Just kidding. Kinda.

Mommies are Mommies, Duh!

An exchange between my husband and Drew:

Husband: Mommy is so wonderful and she is the prettiest girl in the world. Don't you think Mommy is the prettiest girl in the world?

Drew: [Grinning a mischeivious grin.] Noooo!

Husband: You don't think Mommy is the prettiest girl in the world?

Drew: Nooo! Mommy is not pretty!

Husband: Why would you say that?

Drew: Mommy is not pretty, she is a Mommy. Mommies aren't pretty! Mommies are Mommies!

I knew this day was coming. I am a Mommy and therefore am no longer the prettiest girl in the world. However I am still a Princess, damnit!

Hey.... don't rain on my parade.

7 Weird things about myself- a list post.

Thank you everyone for all of your kind words and reassurance about this. I'm glad I could say my peace. On that note, if you comment on my blog, I might go over to your blog and click on an ad or two. What can I say, reading nice people's blogs makes me want to shop (or at least get them more adsense revenue- I am up to $1.50 for my blog! Woo hoo.)

Okay, so I told two of the aforementioned very nice bloggers, The Bush Family and The Rambler, that I was going to take part in this activity of naming 7 weird things about myself. Here we go (in reverse order, although I don't think any of them are ranked as more weird than the other).

7. I talk to myself a lot. I mean A LOT. I also complain to myself a lot. I've heard it's a sign of intelligence- don't judge!

6. My favorite movie of all time is Weird Science. I heart skinny Michael Anthony Hall. Plus you have Robert Downey Jr. in it too, whom I heart as well.

5. Okay, so I've used this one before but it still holds true. People used to tell me I looked like Claire Danes (How they would tell me is something like this: "omigod, you look just like that girl from My-So-Called-Life!") and it annoyed the crap out of me. Now I wish someone would tell me that. So what do you think? Is it true? This picture is 8 years old, which is my excuse for weird boob-pocket shirt/white tank ensemble. Hai everybodee, here is mah boob- oh wait, it's hiding behind this pocket where I keep mah spare change! We all make fashion mistakes. At least I am wearing a tank under it I guess.

4. Whenever I watch anything scary, I have to put my feet up. I am always worried that someone is going to slash my heel tendon, thanks to the movie Pet Semetary. Even talking about it now gives me the heebie jeebies and makes me want to put my feet up.

3. My sister and I used to HATE cleaning up dishes, so much so that we would have water fights, mashed potato fights, whipped cream fights any time that we could INSTEAD of cleaning up.

2. I love warm pickles. I will open a jar of pickles just so I can eat a ton before they go into the refrigerator. (I know it doesn't compete with pickle and peanut butter sandwiches, but it's all I've got!)

1. I hate all hot or lukewarm beverages. Coffee, Tea, Red wine, Hot Chocolate? Yuck! Give me a Diet Coke at 7 am any day.


Gosh, I am sorry I am so boring!

Now on that note, I am going to challenge everyone to name 7 weird things that happened to them yesterday! Here are mine:

7. Drew has decided that our main bathroom is the "girls" bathroom and our master bathroom is a "boys" bathroom and only wants to use the "boys" bathroom, and throws a fit about using the "girls" bathroom. He keeps citing his Pre-K room having a "boys" and "girls" bathroom as evidence of this truth.

6. Shaun told me he wants a "moist" cake for his birthday. Um first of all, hate the word "moist". It conjures up a lot of images I don't want to have about cake. Second of all- eff you honey! Like I would intentionally make a dry cake. I told him if he is so concerned maybe his Mom should make the cake since I hate making cakes.

5. Jacob was up at 3am, 4am, 5am last night, waking up for good at 5am. He had a fever, but he doesn't have it now. I love unexplainable fevers.

4. It's been 188 days since I've used Wii fit, and today I used it and I'm better at it than I was when I was using it religiously. Running after Jacob must be keeping me in better shape than I thought!

3. Jacob did not nap. It was a rough day at our house.

2. My Mom is still hemming and hawing (how old does this phrase make me? 80?) about watching the kids overnight for Shaun's birthday (a big surprise I was hoping to plan). My Mom does read this so- Mom tell me yes or no! But don't leave me hanging!

1. I got so spooked thinking about Pet Semetary that I came out here and typed this instead of sleeping. Not only is that weird, but it also makes me weird as well, so really this could qualify for both lists!

Now I challenge whoever is up to this, to do one list or both lists. Just let me know if you do!

A working Mom's dinner in pictures

6:30 pm- Time to make a lovely dinner from scratch.
7:00 pm Time to eat.
7:08 pm. Yeah, someone needs a bath now.
7:15 pm. Dinner table. Notice someone hasn't eaten. Hubby and I haven't eaten together in a year now. Did you see how hard I worked on those mashed potatoes?
7:30 pm Time to play- tonight it is "Roller coaster".
7:45 pm. Now it is "train". The blanket, such a versatile toy.
7:50. Hmm.. he hasn't gotten into trouble yet!
7:55pm- Okay now he has!
7:55 pm. With trouble comes slips, falls and tears.

8:00 pm. Bath time (no pictures- someone was not a happy camper).

8:30 pm. Bed time. Obviously, I put the little one to bed.

9:00 pm. Relaxin' watchin' The Office in my Jammies time.

Whew, another day bites the dust.

Our Running Tally

The Hubby and I have a little competition that goes on in our house. This competition is called "who works harder around here" or alternately called "who has it worse around here"? Everything, down to the littlest minute details is discussed and judged. Almost everything seems to have a point value, and one of us is always ahead and the person who is ahead is the one that "works harder" and "has it the worst". The other person then must compensate.

Lets say for example (and most of these are situational- it depends on who is ahead):
He works longer hours (+3), but I clean more (+5, at least in my eyes).
He mows the lawn (+2), but I do the laundry (+4, hey it's year-round).
He makes breakfast (+2, +6 if it's served in bed), but I make dinner (+5).
I put Drew to bed (+3), but he gave Jacob and bath and put him to bed (+4, we'll give him the edge on this one, even though Drew is very difficult at bedtime).

Alternately it carries over into fun activites too.
I went to Lollapalooza (-20), but he went on 3 boys weekend vacays this year (they were shorter so -25).
He saw a movie last week with his sister (-5) , but I went out to dinner with mine last week and shopping with my Mom this week (-10).

It also carries over into who can score a babysitter too. If I score the babysitter (i.e., beg my Mom), we have to do what I want when we go out, and not sit at the Sports Bar all night like he would prefer to do.

Now the real life scenario (today):

Hubby woke up really early for work (+10). He forgot to take out trash (-5). He worked a long day (+5), came home and ordered pizza (+3). He fell alseep after dinner, therefore missing out on the never ending fun of "Bedtime" (-2). Then he was woken up by wife to check a funny smell in the basement and had to clean out a mouse trap (+100!) Afterwards he helped his his wife look for missing snowpants (+5) and didn't get annoyed when she was upset that they were not found (+10).

Janna woke up later for work (-5).Janna got the children ready for school (+10) and took them to school (+10). Janna bought milk and pop and bread at QD on her lunch break (+8). Janna picked up the kids from school (+10). Janna put Jacob and Drew to bed when Hubby fell asleep on couch (+15). Then Janna woke hubby up to check mouse trap (-20), and freaked out about missing snow pants (-20).

Oh did Janna mention that she is getting her husband a

Spoiler: show

{Playstation 3}

for his birthday (+1000)?

I am so freaking ahead, it's not even funny.

So does anyone else operate their marriage in this secret, silent code? Or do you have a different one? Do you think I should give my Hubby more points for the mouse?

And finally, what are the odds that said Hubby will finally read my blog for the first time and get his birthday surprise ruined?

NaBloPoMo: Look what I Do for my blogging- Picture of the week....

I post a hideous picture of myself because it's funny. Here is what I like to call "Tough Jacob Love", because this hurt like heck, but he was being so sweet, so I let him do it.

The tears are from laughing, I cry when I laugh really hard... and it doesn't take much. My sister put this lovely thing on Facebook, to get back at me for a funny picture of her up on Facebook. I think I one-upped her by putting it on my blog. If she doesn't watch out I will put her funny picture up here as the next picture of the week.....

NaBloPoMo: My favorite 80's Campy Movies Musical Moments....

Some of the greatest musical moments from absolutely horrible movies. The sad part is that these were some of my favorites.

"Pumpin' and Blowin'" from The Pirate Movie. Sadly enough, I watched this a lot as a kid. I just recently rented it from on Demand and it is TERRIBLE. The culmination of terrible-ness is in the middle of the movie with this song. The scuba gear is incredibly realistic.


"Top That", From Teen Witch. Okay, I have seen this movies a million times and I love it. If you grew up in the 80's and haven't seen it you MUST watch it. There are quite a few great songs to pick from, but "Top That" is the only one with a rap, so it wins!


"I'm Alive" From Xanadu. Okay, am I not supposed to make fun of Xanadu because it's a broadway show now? I seriously LOVED the music and wanted to BE Olivia Newton John so bad. (I'm pretty sure my Mom wanted to be her too, we owned a LOT of her movies.) The movie is REALLY unwatchable though. The plot is so convoluted.


Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. This one is added specifically for it's name. The first Breakin'? Not so bad... but the plot for this one is so laughable. I'm sorry Kelly, Ozone, and Turbo, you should've quit while you were ahead.


Flash Gordon Football fight scene. I chose this because Shaun loved it as a little kid and we watched it recently- terrible movie. It would definitely make a good drinking game. I would've chosen the opening credits, if it weren't for Dale cheering Flash on- "Go Flash, go!" while waving her arms like a chicken. Watch for it, it's hilarious.


So any that I missed? Any less obvious picks that I didn't think of?